Topsy Turvy

For more pics from weeks 9 and 10, click here

Topsy Turvy. That has been week #10 of Daisy's life. Typical, it also happened to be my first full week back at "work" and the gym. Here I place the word 'work' in quotations because, quite honestly, there wasn't an awful lot of it going on. I had my reasons but overall, note to self: must do better next week.

So, what turned our week upside down? Well, of course little missy here had a lot to do with it but there were some other factors too. Let's begin at the beginning, starting last Saturday...

Trial & Error (aka: lots of error on Mummy's behalf)

After a last-ditch attempt at breastfeeding last week that ended in blood-curdling screams, I finally gave up the goat (or in this case the boob) and decided to stop breast-feeding completely. Shortly thereafter it seemed that Daisy was getting just as frustrated and fussy at feedings with the Breastflow bottles we were using (bottles with nipples designed to mimic the breast and therefore prevent nipple confusion.) Given that nipple confusion was no longer an issue, I thought she might appreciate a regular ole bottle by Playtex, as it might be less work for her and, therefore, reduce the fussiness.

We started with the new bottles on Saturday morning and, at first, it seemed as though we'd hit the jackpot. No more fussiness. But we appeared to have the opposite problem - she was idle at the bottle and falling asleep, appearing to be completely uninterested in eating at all. Where before she was eating 4-6ozs a feeding, she began lolling over half as much. Figuring she was just getting used to the new bottles/nipples, we persevered through Sunday but to no avail. Sunday night/Monday morning, she woke up at 4:00am, just as I was attempting to sneak out to go to the gym - the first time in weeks she hasn't got up after 6am. I'm guessing she just hadn't had enough to eat throughout the day.

On Monday I asked our nanny, Brandy, to test her out on the new and old bottles in the same day to see what she thought; did she want the old bottles back, was she just getting used to the old bottles? Brandy determined that the new bottles no-workie but the old bottles were too slow as Daisy appeared much happier when she shoved a fork into the end of the nipple to make the milk come out faster. So, that night we ran out to Target and purchased the 3month+ nipples for the old bottles that have a faster flow. So, same bottle/nipple type, wider hole. Phew, problem solved. All hail the faster nipple!

However, on Tuesday morning at 2am, Daisy woke up. What the heck was happening? We hadn't seen 2am since... well... week 4!

Things that go "bump" in the day

Monday was also a tough day all around for another two reasons. The first was that I had two meetings at the office and needed to take my breast pump with me to avoid painful engorgement. Unfortunately, I took everything but two vital parts - the bits that actually attach to my nipples - and so I had to go through a business lunch feeling just a tad uncomfortable. Thankfully I didn't leak as I also didn't have any breast pads on. Small miracles!

The second reason was that the nanny's 7-month old girl, Lizzie, who she brings to work with her, managed to alert us to the completely inappropriate nature of our front living room for active infants.

The dogs live in the family room behind a child gate and, since we've had Daisy, Hubby and I have been living in the front room because it's just easier to not deal with baby, binkies, burpies, and 2 hairy, curious, licking, scratching, whining, and barking dogs at the same time, in the same room. (At some point we're going to have to move back into the family room but that's an aside at this point.) However, our front room has more furniture in it than the family room and is somewhat of an infant and toddler obstacle course with tables, lights, books, DVDs, electical sockets, and decorative items, all rich for the picking. So, with all Daisy's stuff in the front room, Brandy has been taking care of both bubs in there. This all came to an abrupt end on Monday after Lizzie managed to bang her way through the day, falling down 2 stairs and onto the tile floor head first, scraping her chest on the corner of the coffee table, and knocking a side table over onto her head! The resulting screams definitely got me out of my office and made me feel absolutely terribe for Lizzie and Brandy, who was obviously torn between doing her job, looking after Daisy and comforting her own little girl. Realizing this, I ran downstairs each time and grabbed Daisy so that Lizzie could get some mommy time. However, all of this made for a stressful day with not much work getting done on my behalf.

So, along with our jaunt out to buy new bottle nipples on Monday night, Hubby and I invested in a mega baby gate/play pen and some child-proofing items, and cleared-out the family room for Wednesday, when we planned to put the dogs in the side yard and garage.

At 8am on Wednesday morning, Brandy arrived to a lovely and spacious child-proofed, dog-free family room. Daisy had got up at 5am but was back down for an early-morning nap, all was well with the world and I was looking forward to a quiet day in the office upstairs. It was not to be....

Yeast. And not the good kind.

At about 10am Brandy came up to my office and asked whether I had noticed some white spots on Daisy's lips and inner cheeks. I said I had not. Brandy said she thought it might be thrush (a yeast infection of the mouth.) No sooner had the words come out of her mouth than, at 11:30am, Daisy began to scream her way through the day, completely inconsolable by anyone except - yes you got it - me. I booked a 4pm appointment with the pediatrician, summonsed my mum over at 3:30 and let Brandy go early so we could fly over there. Daisy was still screaming as she left. I think she was glad for that day to be over also.

The pediatrician confirmed a thrush infection. Treatment is a goopy, yellow liquid that we need to swab and squirt into her mouth four times a day, which I'm sure you can imagine goes down a TREAT. It already seems to be working but we can tell that the infection is bothering her because she often cries her head off half way through feeding, which is also so much fun. In addition, we have to sterilize the crap out of anything that goes in or near her mouth each day.

The doctor suggested we use a big saucepan of boiling water. However, while we were on the way home from the docs, Hubby tried to sterilize the plastic bits on the drying rack and managed to completely warp them. So, another trip to Target (this time by Mum & Dad, who have, incidentally, saved our LIVES this week) for a sterilizer and a new drying rack. Dealing with a 2 month old and a hot vat of boiling water does not sound like a good idea, especially when one of your primary care-givers has arthritis in her hands and the other (me) is just plain hand-clumsy. We also bought about a hundred more new binkies, just so that, when one falls on the floor, we can grab another vs. waiting for it to be cleaned and sterilized again (no more mummy sucking on the binkie to "clean" it!)

Overall, it has been a stressful week but it would have been much worse if it hadn't of been for my parents and especially my Mum, who has the magic Nanny touch. It's so wonderful to have someone else other than me that Daisy responds to in that way. Not that Dad and Hubby can't get the job done, but you know what I mean.

All of this topsy-turvy-ness has prompted me to write a list of my most important priorities after Daisy, and post it in my office. Since non-Daisy hours are limited, I find that dilly-dallying or getting side-tracked as I used to be able to without consequence, no longer works. I turn around and nothing I wanted to achieve has got done and now I have to do something Daisy-related that prevents me from tackling the other vital items on my list. So, to keep me on track, my post-it now reminds me:

• Work
• Pump
• Shower
• Laundry
• Eat (healthy!)
• Drink
• Clean bottles

Anything else has to wait for any available spare time after all the above it achieved. Fortunately both nanny and Nanny help with laundry and bottles during the week, so that's two things less.

Of course, I'm not going to be a martyr about this. If I want to do something fun vs. running that last load of laundry, I absolutely will (the list is mine to ignore if I want) but at least it's a reminder to stay on-track.

The magic touch

Nanny has a way of placing Daisy down to nap in the strangest places. Hubby and I have a tendency to use the swing or the play mat but Nanny gets creative and, amazingly, Daisy loves it. Here is a pic of Daisy snuggled into the pillows on our couch. That's the second time this week that she's conked out in a similar location for her Nan.



Little Morning Goo

I couldn't do a post without mentioning our morning wake-up routine.

Daisy is just the cutest little button when she gets up in the morning. She rarely wakes up with a cry, unless something woke her up (like a poop), instead it takes us to look at the video monitor and see her kicking her legs out of her miracle blanket, looking around her crib, eyes wide open. When we come in and say "Good Morning Daisy!" she erupts into a big, wide smile that just melts our hearts. Then we unwrap her from her miracle blanket while she's still in her crib and allow her to stretch her little arms and legs for a few seconds, which is equally as adorable, before we pick her up. Meanwhile she's smiling at us and giving us "goo". Of course, I can't describe it anywhere near good enough to help you understand just how darned cute it is and so I took some video of her yesterday morning. Unfortunately, finding the time to capture, edit, and upload the video just doesn't seem to be something that's going to happen any time in the near future and, as of Sunday morning, I've already been working on this post for 2.5 days. Unless I get this thing published soon, I could be erecting the Christmas tree before you get to read it! Hence, you'll just have to wait for the visuals.

The myth of the ball and chain

The last thing I wanted to blog about this week is something that has been bothering me for some time now. I'm interested to know if you other parents out there have experienced this strange phenomenon.

You see, ever since Daisy was born, Hubby has been getting advice from male friends about how he needs to ensure that he stands up for his masculine rights, how he shouldn't allow himself to (or more specifically shouldn't allow me to make him) get embroiled in being "responsible" or "relied upon" for the care of his daughter, and how he needs to "tell" me that he needs his own time and get out more. Basically, keep your distance or your wife and daughter will suck you into a big black vortex you may never be able to escape from.

Granted, Hubby hasn't been golfing with friends or heading out for happy hour on Friday nights but (a) he didn't do much of that stuff BEFORE Daisy was born and (b) if he wanted to go I would not only have no problem with it, I would encourage it. But he's a grown man and he chooses not to do those things right now for whatever reason (much of which is because he works hard during the day and is pretty frickin' tired when he has non-work time.)

This continuous flood of advice from multiple different male pals is insulting and baffling to me on so many levels. First, I'm insulted that, just because I have a strong personality, people assume that I "control" Hubby. Personally, I see many more insecure, anxious, emotional women clinging to their husbands for dear life than independent, self-sufficient, balanced, and emotionally secure women (which I like to consider myself, most of the time.) Secondly, I'm insulted on behalf of my husband because it suggests that he is so weak willed as to be controlled by me or anyone else. Yes, he's a sensitive and caring soul, but that doesn't necessarily translate to weakness.

On a less personal level, I'm 100% baffled that, even in today's society where it is considered pretty much de-rigeur to be an involved father, there is still an undercurrent of peer pressure between men to separate themselves from their family for fear of losing "self".

Finally, I'm angry that nobody has given ME, as a woman, this advice (not that I would appreciate it any more than Hubby does.) What about preservation of my sense of self??? What about making sure that an uninvolved husband doesn't leave me carrying the full-weight of parenthood, so tied to my new family that I can't get out? AND, topping it all, what about the fact that we both sat down one day as a team, as a couple, and made the decision to be parents and to shoulder the responsibilty, frustrations, and JOYS that come with that TOGETHER? How PRESUMPTIOUS to assume that the time that Hubby spends with us is (a) not his choice (b) not enjoyable and (c) will automatically result in him somehow losing his manhood!!!!

Of all the crazy stuff that has been thrown at us disguised as advice in the last 11 or so months, this is the most annoying to me.

However, I am so happy that I have the kind of relationship with my husband that he not only thinks this advice is baffling too, but that he comes home and shares his disdain with me. I'm thankful that he is confident enough in our relationship and in me that he knows that I would never prevent or resent him for taking time for himself (any more than I know he would for me) and that these people just don't understand our marriage or our family in the slightest. How sad that these men feel this way to such an extent that they run around whispering advice into each new father's ears, trying to create a secret society of miserable men dying to get away from their wives and their kids. Misery loves company and I'm thankful that Hubby isn't in the mood to socialize with it.

I leave you with this country song that found it's way to me on Launch.com this week; brought tears to my eyes. Since listening to it, I've written the words "It won't be like this for long" on a piece of paper and posted it in my office, just to remind me that every bad phase will pass but, at the same time, so will all the special moments with them. Must remember to soak them all up.