Miracles
Yesterday I went to see my massage therapist, Tanya (www.massageforhealing.com - yes, I am a shameless promoter of the people and services that do a good job.) Tanya has been looking after my aches and pains since before my hip surgery last March. Before the surgery, she got my screaming IT band to quiet down and then, after, she was more successful than two physical therapists in helping me address and reduce pain and stiffness in and around my hip joint. When she found out I was pregnant she went out and purchased some special pillows and foam risers to enable her to continue to massage me in the prone and supine positions. Yes, not only is she good at the massaging part, she is also an extremely wonderful person who clearly cares about her clients beyond professional interest. After I initially injured my pelvis a couple of weeks ago, she was the one who alerted me to the fact that my pubic bone appeared out of alignment - she literally led me toward my own diagnosis.
Tanya's technique is a combination of many styles of massage therapy and reflexology, I believe. I'm sure she could provide more technical terms but I think the style of massage she subscribes to is "Somatic Massage". It's not your typical swedish massage by any means. Whatever it's called, it works. That's not to say it's a blissful 60 minutes on the table but it is the only 60 minutes of pain that I have ever actually looked forward to. Yes, there are times where the massaging in tight spots is a huge relief like with any massage but Tanya also hits unusual spots in your body that most therapists don't (like literally on your joints/bones) and when they are sore it's a whole different experience. You don't know they're sore until she gets to them but when she starts to massage them, you're like "What the hell? I never knew that was sore until now!" Massaging these areas is almost like someone forcefully massaging a fresh bruise on your body. Yeah, owww.
So, back to yesterday. We started on my back which had been spasming since my ill-fated walk around the block. Yes, I decided to walk around the block. To give you the edited highlights - began well, started pain in my right hip, progressed to lower back pain, and then baby started kicking me in the cervix, resulted in me turning around and coming home. Therefore, timing was awesome. We addressed my back while I layed safely, face-down, on my pillows, concentrating a lot on my sacrum where, incidentally, the broad ligament that holds the uterus in place posterially is located. God it hurt but slowly I started to feel the soreness subside and my back respond to the massage. Woot woot! Then, amongst other things, Tanya had located some assisted, isometric stretches (along the same lines as what my PCP gave me) to help my pubic bone release and we did those.
Then the time came to get off the table and I slid off cautiously. I couldn't believe it when my feet touching the floor did not initiate pain in my pubic bone and lower abs. Even getting dressed and putting on my pants (usually a process that requires sitting) was pain free. I walked out of the massage room and still no pain. Yes, a little discomfort (the problem hadn't magically gone away, of that I was aware) but no pain or discomfort that affected my movement. I could even lift my knees up and do a kind of march on the spot - unthinkable just an hour ago!
Which leads me to topic one for my blog post heading - miracles. Tanya is my miracle worker.
The soreness and a little of the pain did creep back throughout the evening but, overall, there is a noticable difference.
Classes
Last night was our first birthing class, or whatever you want to call it. Mercy Medical calls it "Great Expectations." Yeah, whatever. Every Monday night from 7pm to 9pm for the next 6 weeks, that's where we'll be - learning all about the gruesome details of pregnancy, labor, and childbirth.
Night one wasn't too gruesome although many of the fathers involved clearly had their moments of "ewww" and "owww". Mostly, us women sighed and groaned with the inevitability of it all. There were introductions (I was the only one w/ SPD and even the teacher hadn't heard of it. Of course, I'm the odd one,) then an overview of what's been happening inside our pregnant bodies as baby has been growing (as in, where did your intestines go?), a review of the signs that something is wrong, a description of what it feels like to have your water break, and a brief floor-exercise stint where Hubby and I realized that most normal people have no idea how to do a proper squat. I also realized that, despite my SPD, I was the ONLY woman in the room who could manage to get my knees on the floor in a butterfly pose.)
Overall, not too off-putting yet. The teacher seemed capable and non-preachy and the class of 30-or-so of us consisted of some fairly normal people, just like us. One thing I did happily notice, however, is that, in a room of 15 other pregnant women due within a week of me, I AM NOT ANY LARGER THAN ANY OF THEM. In fact, I would say my lump represents the middle ground. So, take that random people with something to say on my size.
Photographs
We have a sneak peak of a couple of the photos from this past weekend's photo shoot. The photographer, Penny, maintains a blog and posted a couple of pics on there this morning. Take a gander here for a quick look: http://www.portraitsbypenny.com/newblog/
So, all in all, a good 24 hours.
Over and out until the next 'development'.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
A weekend of ups and downs
I woke up on Saturday morning with barely any pain or discomfort from my pubic bone. Yeah! This was great timing because we had our pregnancy photo-shoot with Penny Silvia. You know how I love my photos, so we hired Penny to take pre-birth, post-birth, 6-month, and 1-year photos of our journey with the soon-to-be newest member of our family.
Penny is awesome. A lot of fun and someone who clearly enjoys her job, which makes me even more determined to take a photography course this year to see if I have photography chops. We started off with some fun pics in the back yard, holding a rake and a shovel!? We then moved down to the easement at the back of our yard and took some pictures in the trees. Fortunately the rain held-off long enough for us. Then we moved inside for some more revealing belly shots, some in the dining room and then some sitting on the glider in the nursery. Finally, we moved into the bedroom (ooolaalaaa) where Hubby and I snuggled up on the bed. At that point, Penny decided to test our level of 'comfort' and I had a corresponding 'what the hell?' moment. Down to my underwear and a top, we took some silhouette poses in front of the window. Then, down to just my underwear and hands for modesty (no shirt for Hubby), we did some photos on the floor in an embrace. I figured, what other time in life do I have a perfectly viable excuse not to look model-perfect in a state of undress? Plus, honestly, Penny is so relaxed it was easy for it all to be no big deal.
We should have the photo slide-show from her in about a week and so you'll be able to judge for yourself what you thought of our little revealing photo-shoot.
In the evening, we decided go to a movie. This time of year I like to try and fit in as many Oscar nominated pics as I can, so we picked Frost/Nixon. The movie was great but the problem was leaving. After sitting for a couple of hours, I went to stand up and leave the theater and was faced with excrutiating, crushing pain in my pubic bone. It literally felt as though someone had put an iron block inside me that was trying to push its way out through my groin. Putting one foot in front of another was almost unbearable and it was only pride that got me down the aisle and out of the theater without crying or collapsing to the floor. You may think that I am being dramatic (which I tend to have a flair for) but I have to tell you that this was pain beyond anything I experienced after my hip surgery (save for the immediate moments thereafter in recovery.) I gritted my teeth and managed to get outside into the hallway where I stood to one side to try some pelvic tilts, which usually help relieve any sudden-onset of pain. They worked to a degree, at least enough to enable me to clutch Hubby's hand as I slowly shuffled out and back to the car. (BTW, in this moment I learned that I hum to comfort myself when I'm in a lot of pain - could be useful in labor?)
As I said, the pain was bad but it's the frustration and fear that comes with it that really brings you down, especially after the exhuberance of such a great morning. You start to believe that thing are getting better, that you're on the mend, and then WHAMMY! Something like that just makes you realize that the problem still exists and all you've managed to do is temporarily relieve it with some good exercises and stretches. Instantly, in my head, I began going through the back-and-forth of c-section vs. vaginal birth and the implications for long-term pain. Vaginal = potential for further dislodgement of the pubis but a shorter recovery time, back on my feet and exercising sooner. C-section = instant relief for my pubis but limitations on movement for 6-8 weeks, resulting in potentially more pain from prolonged periods of sitting. And then I started thinking about if the baby turns and starts to engage and what that added pressure would do to the overall problem. Even though I recognize from reading up on this PSD thing that my condition is mild compared to most, I could definitely see how one of the most defining memories described by acute sufferers is one of feeling depressed, frustrated, and hopeless.
Sunday, I woke up determined not to sit down during the day. So, I began laundry and gingerly attempted my pre-natal yoga routine. Yes, the same one where I injured myself but I was listening to my body, used a chair for support, and avoided going balls-out on any of the standing poses. I felt immensely better afterward, as I have done after any exercise since I got injured. In the afternoon I decided to make a meat Moussaka for dinner, which involved heading out to the grocery store, buying the raw ingredients and then coming back to prep and cook it - all of which took 2+ hours, standing firmly on my feet. By the time Hubby arrived home at around 5:30pm, my feet were swollen and sore but my pubic bone still felt good. I'll take sore feet any day.
So, the key is activity and not sitting down for long periods of time. I was pleased with myself; I had figured out how to keep the pain at bay. Better still, the solution was not rest (which would drive me crazy) but activity.
Unfortunately, despite my revelation, I did not sleep well... something which is becoming an every-day reality for me now, especially since the injury. After five minutes of propping myself up with pillows between my legs, under and around me, I fell asleep but only to wake bolt-upright about 4 hours later, with fatigue in my buns and thighs from laying on one side. Changing positions is somewhat painful with the PSD, so that didn't help much, and then the baby decided to start kicking me hard in the cervix, so hard that my entire body rocked with each thud. It seems that, after weeks of thumping me in the upper-right corner of my belly, baby is now lodged down low. Hmmm... seems it turned the wrong way? I'm 29 weeks, so think I have a week or two for baby to right itself upside down but it doesn't instill confidence. Maybe baby will be breach and take the c-section decision entirely out of my hands anyway.
During this whole weekend, I found myself thinking about the pregnancies of my friends - some easy, some not so easy - and remembered something that one of them said: "I'm taking each day as it comes." So, when I woke up this morning relatively pain-free again, I decided that's the best solution for right now. Worrying about what might happen, what all these things might mean for the birth, the recovery... none of it changes anything. And mentally adding up all the days where I've been in pain will just result in psychological torture and depression. Therefore, I'm resolved to taking the ups and downs as they come, appreciating and taking advantage of the days/mornings/evenings where I feel good and taking a deep breath when I don't.
I said I'm resolved...doesn't mean I'll necessarily be any good at it. Wish me luck!
Penny is awesome. A lot of fun and someone who clearly enjoys her job, which makes me even more determined to take a photography course this year to see if I have photography chops. We started off with some fun pics in the back yard, holding a rake and a shovel!? We then moved down to the easement at the back of our yard and took some pictures in the trees. Fortunately the rain held-off long enough for us. Then we moved inside for some more revealing belly shots, some in the dining room and then some sitting on the glider in the nursery. Finally, we moved into the bedroom (ooolaalaaa) where Hubby and I snuggled up on the bed. At that point, Penny decided to test our level of 'comfort' and I had a corresponding 'what the hell?' moment. Down to my underwear and a top, we took some silhouette poses in front of the window. Then, down to just my underwear and hands for modesty (no shirt for Hubby), we did some photos on the floor in an embrace. I figured, what other time in life do I have a perfectly viable excuse not to look model-perfect in a state of undress? Plus, honestly, Penny is so relaxed it was easy for it all to be no big deal.
We should have the photo slide-show from her in about a week and so you'll be able to judge for yourself what you thought of our little revealing photo-shoot.
In the evening, we decided go to a movie. This time of year I like to try and fit in as many Oscar nominated pics as I can, so we picked Frost/Nixon. The movie was great but the problem was leaving. After sitting for a couple of hours, I went to stand up and leave the theater and was faced with excrutiating, crushing pain in my pubic bone. It literally felt as though someone had put an iron block inside me that was trying to push its way out through my groin. Putting one foot in front of another was almost unbearable and it was only pride that got me down the aisle and out of the theater without crying or collapsing to the floor. You may think that I am being dramatic (which I tend to have a flair for) but I have to tell you that this was pain beyond anything I experienced after my hip surgery (save for the immediate moments thereafter in recovery.) I gritted my teeth and managed to get outside into the hallway where I stood to one side to try some pelvic tilts, which usually help relieve any sudden-onset of pain. They worked to a degree, at least enough to enable me to clutch Hubby's hand as I slowly shuffled out and back to the car. (BTW, in this moment I learned that I hum to comfort myself when I'm in a lot of pain - could be useful in labor?)
As I said, the pain was bad but it's the frustration and fear that comes with it that really brings you down, especially after the exhuberance of such a great morning. You start to believe that thing are getting better, that you're on the mend, and then WHAMMY! Something like that just makes you realize that the problem still exists and all you've managed to do is temporarily relieve it with some good exercises and stretches. Instantly, in my head, I began going through the back-and-forth of c-section vs. vaginal birth and the implications for long-term pain. Vaginal = potential for further dislodgement of the pubis but a shorter recovery time, back on my feet and exercising sooner. C-section = instant relief for my pubis but limitations on movement for 6-8 weeks, resulting in potentially more pain from prolonged periods of sitting. And then I started thinking about if the baby turns and starts to engage and what that added pressure would do to the overall problem. Even though I recognize from reading up on this PSD thing that my condition is mild compared to most, I could definitely see how one of the most defining memories described by acute sufferers is one of feeling depressed, frustrated, and hopeless.
Sunday, I woke up determined not to sit down during the day. So, I began laundry and gingerly attempted my pre-natal yoga routine. Yes, the same one where I injured myself but I was listening to my body, used a chair for support, and avoided going balls-out on any of the standing poses. I felt immensely better afterward, as I have done after any exercise since I got injured. In the afternoon I decided to make a meat Moussaka for dinner, which involved heading out to the grocery store, buying the raw ingredients and then coming back to prep and cook it - all of which took 2+ hours, standing firmly on my feet. By the time Hubby arrived home at around 5:30pm, my feet were swollen and sore but my pubic bone still felt good. I'll take sore feet any day.
So, the key is activity and not sitting down for long periods of time. I was pleased with myself; I had figured out how to keep the pain at bay. Better still, the solution was not rest (which would drive me crazy) but activity.
Unfortunately, despite my revelation, I did not sleep well... something which is becoming an every-day reality for me now, especially since the injury. After five minutes of propping myself up with pillows between my legs, under and around me, I fell asleep but only to wake bolt-upright about 4 hours later, with fatigue in my buns and thighs from laying on one side. Changing positions is somewhat painful with the PSD, so that didn't help much, and then the baby decided to start kicking me hard in the cervix, so hard that my entire body rocked with each thud. It seems that, after weeks of thumping me in the upper-right corner of my belly, baby is now lodged down low. Hmmm... seems it turned the wrong way? I'm 29 weeks, so think I have a week or two for baby to right itself upside down but it doesn't instill confidence. Maybe baby will be breach and take the c-section decision entirely out of my hands anyway.
During this whole weekend, I found myself thinking about the pregnancies of my friends - some easy, some not so easy - and remembered something that one of them said: "I'm taking each day as it comes." So, when I woke up this morning relatively pain-free again, I decided that's the best solution for right now. Worrying about what might happen, what all these things might mean for the birth, the recovery... none of it changes anything. And mentally adding up all the days where I've been in pain will just result in psychological torture and depression. Therefore, I'm resolved to taking the ups and downs as they come, appreciating and taking advantage of the days/mornings/evenings where I feel good and taking a deep breath when I don't.
I said I'm resolved...doesn't mean I'll necessarily be any good at it. Wish me luck!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
SPD (yes I said sPd not sTd!)
Well, we have a diagnosis, people!
I saw my PCP (who also happens to be an osteopath) today and SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) it is.
Once in a while 'Google-Induced-Anxiety' (or Googlexiety as I'm now going to call it) is warranted.
She laid me on my back and felt my pubic bone with her two thumbs. The right side of my symphysis pubis, or SP, (the part in the middle of your pelvis where the two halves come together) is rotated up away from the other side, causing the pain and pressure. As you read in my previous post (or were bored and didn't) this is a pretty common syndrome in pregnant women because of the hormone relaxin that helps prepare your joints for birth. However, it is more commonly recognized in the UK than it is in the US, where most doctors think the pain is just a natural result of pressure on your pelvis in pregnancy.
That's the bad news.
The good news is that, as an osteopath (did I say yet how much I love my Dr?), she has some specific exercises I can do at home to help my SP right itself. Aparently it wants to but is stuck and needs some help. Don't worry my little SP, help is on the way!
She did this one stretching exercise with me laying on my back with my legs bent, feet on the table. She braced herself against one of my knees while placing her arm from elbow to palm between my knees. Then I had to try to press my knees together. As she did it, she kept the other hand on my SP and said she actually felt it move a little back into place.
Yessssssssssssssss!
Although I can't say I'm miraculoulsy cured and pain-free, I can say that I can already notice the difference. Before the pain was constant, even sitting down, and now I don't feel any pain or pressure sitting normally.
Incidentally, she was impressed that I had managed to all-but eliminate any stiffness and pain in the surrounding muscles, especially in my weaker hip where I had the surgery. She said that SPD usually presents with a ton of other muscle/tendon issues but, because I had immediately resorted back to my post-surgery gentle exercise and stretch routine, I have been able to keep that at bay. The muscles in my hip are still strong with no noticeable weakness as a result and that should also help pull everything back into alignment.
The overal prognosis is that she expects me to be able to reduce most if not all of the pain and misalignment myself through continuing my exercises and adding the one new one to my repertoire. My pubic area may still be sore because of the trauma of being misaligned for a period of time (even if misalignment is fixed) but overall pain should subside. Worst-case scenario, I might not be able to get everything exactly back to where it was before I popped it out but after birth everything should slowly go back to normal.
As for the delivery - vaginal vs. c-section - there should be no impact to my choice there. Of course, if I do vaginal and use an epidural I need to be careful not to stretch my legs apart too far. Not that c-sestion is the cure-all... the lack of activity after the c-section can sometimes exasperate the problem (since sitting in one spot/inactivity can make it worse.)
Overall, I have to say I feel better. I know what it is, I know how to make it better, AND it's not related to the hip problems I had before.
Did I say I love my doctor yet????
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A baseball bat to the groin
I am frustrated.
Whatever I did to my pelvis/groin/inner thigh 10 days ago doesn't seem to be getting better. It literally feels as though someone has taken a baseball bat to my pubic bone and upper, inner thighs. Yes, I'm experiencing some resurgence of the old muscle tightness on my bad-hip side but that is manageable in comparison to the feeling that that my pubic bone is about to split open whenever I stand or walk.
I have tried rest (which results in tightness of the muscles but happiness of the pubic bone) and mild exercise/stretching (which results in relief for the muscles but unhappiness for the pubis.) I have tried my massage therapist (enjoyable but no resulting overall relief to the core problem) and then a chiropractor she recommended (no noticeable results so far but only 1 appt.) Both seemed to address a ton of sore muscle/overall misalignment issues but didn't/couldn't pinpoint exactly what I had done that would result in the pain I am experiencing or offer a definitive path toward recovery. Thursday I have an appointment w/ my PCP and I am hoping that she can shed some light on what I might have done and how we might fix it.
Maybe I'm old-school and oversimplifying this but, to me, something popped-out (I heard it) and something needs to be popped back in. Back when I originally injured my hip, I went to physical therapy and the therapist did this nifty (but shocking) maneuver where she had me lay on my back and try to push my knees together while she provided resistence. It made my pelvis crack/pop, whatever you want to call it, and although it was sore for a couple of days, I definitely felt a realignment and sense of relief. So, I guess my expectations have been set by that. In my mind it feels like my pelvis needs to be 'popped' and so I'm waiting for that pivotal and palpable moment of relief. All this twittering around the edges of the problem right now just isn't working for me.
The thing I am worrying about (yes, probably 'Google-induced anxiety') is something called "Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction," a result of separation of the symphysis pubis which is a joint in the very front part of the pelvic bone structure and something which (like my previous hip problems) is more commonly recognized in the U.K. (and they say that a single-payer healthcare system doesn't work!)
While it seems that SPD is something that develops for most women during the course of a pregnancy and over time, I guess it's possible to 'cause' it to happen with injury too. The symptoms seem to fit - pain in the front of the pelvis that hurts when touched (although, for me, it's not excrutiating), pain in the lower abdomen, hips, inner thigh and groin areas and a marked increased pain with activities such as walking, climbing stairs, or lifting my legs. The only thing I'm not experiencing is a loss of range of motion - I can still stretch and open my legs as far as before, without an increase in pain (in fact, it helps with the overall discomfort to stretch) as long as the action is non weight-bearing.
If it is SPD, it doesn't seem like there's a lot I can do to "fix" it. (Groan.) There is lots of advice about how to manage it but not cure it while pregnant. It's generally accepted that it goes away sometime after delivery (although about 60% of women continue to experience it after delivery for some period of time.) However, I'm hopeful that the fact that if I 'caused' it to happen w/injury vs. it happening on it's own, my situation might be different.
I guess we'll see. Appt. with my PCP is tomorrow. Fingers crossed!
Whatever I did to my pelvis/groin/inner thigh 10 days ago doesn't seem to be getting better. It literally feels as though someone has taken a baseball bat to my pubic bone and upper, inner thighs. Yes, I'm experiencing some resurgence of the old muscle tightness on my bad-hip side but that is manageable in comparison to the feeling that that my pubic bone is about to split open whenever I stand or walk.
I have tried rest (which results in tightness of the muscles but happiness of the pubic bone) and mild exercise/stretching (which results in relief for the muscles but unhappiness for the pubis.) I have tried my massage therapist (enjoyable but no resulting overall relief to the core problem) and then a chiropractor she recommended (no noticeable results so far but only 1 appt.) Both seemed to address a ton of sore muscle/overall misalignment issues but didn't/couldn't pinpoint exactly what I had done that would result in the pain I am experiencing or offer a definitive path toward recovery. Thursday I have an appointment w/ my PCP and I am hoping that she can shed some light on what I might have done and how we might fix it.
Maybe I'm old-school and oversimplifying this but, to me, something popped-out (I heard it) and something needs to be popped back in. Back when I originally injured my hip, I went to physical therapy and the therapist did this nifty (but shocking) maneuver where she had me lay on my back and try to push my knees together while she provided resistence. It made my pelvis crack/pop, whatever you want to call it, and although it was sore for a couple of days, I definitely felt a realignment and sense of relief. So, I guess my expectations have been set by that. In my mind it feels like my pelvis needs to be 'popped' and so I'm waiting for that pivotal and palpable moment of relief. All this twittering around the edges of the problem right now just isn't working for me.
The thing I am worrying about (yes, probably 'Google-induced anxiety') is something called "Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction," a result of separation of the symphysis pubis which is a joint in the very front part of the pelvic bone structure and something which (like my previous hip problems) is more commonly recognized in the U.K. (and they say that a single-payer healthcare system doesn't work!)
While it seems that SPD is something that develops for most women during the course of a pregnancy and over time, I guess it's possible to 'cause' it to happen with injury too. The symptoms seem to fit - pain in the front of the pelvis that hurts when touched (although, for me, it's not excrutiating), pain in the lower abdomen, hips, inner thigh and groin areas and a marked increased pain with activities such as walking, climbing stairs, or lifting my legs. The only thing I'm not experiencing is a loss of range of motion - I can still stretch and open my legs as far as before, without an increase in pain (in fact, it helps with the overall discomfort to stretch) as long as the action is non weight-bearing.
If it is SPD, it doesn't seem like there's a lot I can do to "fix" it. (Groan.) There is lots of advice about how to manage it but not cure it while pregnant. It's generally accepted that it goes away sometime after delivery (although about 60% of women continue to experience it after delivery for some period of time.) However, I'm hopeful that the fact that if I 'caused' it to happen w/injury vs. it happening on it's own, my situation might be different.
I guess we'll see. Appt. with my PCP is tomorrow. Fingers crossed!
Friday, January 16, 2009
My 28 week-old churro
The weeks are just flying by now and the belly is getting bigger and bigger. I can not only see the growth now but I actually feel it, tangibly. I think this is going to be a big baby. GULP.
Yes, it's time to talk to the ObGyn about c-section vs. vaginal birth. Remember that low pelvis of mine that probably can't take a big baby? Well, I'd like to start getting some idea on how big this little fellow (or chickapoo) really is, so we can mentally prepare for our options.
Monday the 26th is our first birthing class, or whatever you call them these days. I was kind of surprised they scheduled it so late (you don't get to choose) but I guess they don't want the info to go stale. I'm interested to see whether Hubby and I find any value in it because I'm hearing from a lot of like-minded moms who have been through this that they dropped-out early. It seems to me that the classes might be more skewed towards those masochistic (in my scaredy-cat opinion) women who want to do it without painkillers etc... As one friend of a friend said: who needs breathing techniques when you've got epidurals? That's what I'm talking about.
Had my blood glucose test on Tuesday morning. They say it takes 1-3 days to process and they only call you if there's something wrong. So, today is the last day that I'm going to have a heart attack every time the phone rings. Of course, I could just call for the results but I'm too chicken-shit.
What else is there to tell you? Oh! Last night I thought I felt my first Braxton Hicks contraction but, in hindsight, it might just have been really bad gas. Haha! Otherwise, baby is very active, sometimes so much so that I have to jiggle my tummy to get him/her to stop so I can catch my breath. The kicks and punches are one thing, but when they're both together AND coupled with a change in position, it can get a bit overwhelming. It's almost as if baby takes up so much room with his/her movements that all the air gets pushed out of my lungs. It is a most disconcerting feeling. I'm doing the kick-count thing and, if I pick the right time of day, I can literally get 10 kicks in a couple of minutes. The average is about 5 minutes, however.
Nursery is almost finished and it looks FANTASTIC. When the blinds and curtains are in I'll post a photo. Hubby did such a wonderful job on all the trim-work and putting together all the furniture etc.. It's a very restful room with soothing colors and lots of natural light during the day (hence the need for blinds and curtains.) When I was stressed-out from work the other day, I actually walked in there and sat on the glider for a few moments and it made me feel so much calmer.
Am I getting excited? I'm not sure exactly. I'm still in that weird state of disconnectedness in many ways. I'm not worrying about it or overanalyzing it too much. Everyone's different and I'm just accepting that this is me. In a lot of ways I can't wait: (a) for the next 80 days to go by so I can start the process of reclaiming my body for myself (b) to see if it's a boy or girl and (c) to just have the labor/delivery part over, over, over and behind me. In many other ways I'm a little scared about the unknowns of the delivery and the first 6-8 weeks thereafter.
Actually, it's funny (not funny haha but funny peculiar) because I find myself in the same frame of mind in 2009 as I was this time in 2008 - only last year I was anxious about my March hip surgery. It's a similar emotional/mental/physical process for me in many ways because there is the excitement to come out the other side but the apprehension of what it will be like immediately thereafter. The hip surgery and immediate recovery wasn't as bad as I imagined it to be, let's hope that the baby thing is the same way.
Here's what's supposedly going on in the bump right now:
As the Big Day nears, your baby is getting ready to go towards the light at the end of the tunnel (the tunnel being the birth canal, the light being the one the doctor is shining directly into it so she can see what the heck she's doing). Other highlights this week:
Your baby's eyes are partially open now and can blink. Truly superior babies can actually wink. (OK, there is no way to prove that, but it's fun to imagine, no?) Your baby can also now become a shiny, happy person as she has begun having rapid eye movement (Get it? REM? Shiny, happy person?? We'll be here all week.)
Her eyes have color now, too. It may not be the color she ultimately ends up with, especially if they're light gray or blue. The eyes typically don't settle on a final hue until nine months after baby is born. So when your mother-in-law says that the baby has her eyes, you can politely inform her that they'll most likely change soon. Sorry.
Your babe is downright chubby compared to a few weeks ago. She is about 15 inches long, about the length of an amusement park cinnamon-sugar-coated churro (yum!), and weighs 2 to 3 pounds.
Yes, it's time to talk to the ObGyn about c-section vs. vaginal birth. Remember that low pelvis of mine that probably can't take a big baby? Well, I'd like to start getting some idea on how big this little fellow (or chickapoo) really is, so we can mentally prepare for our options.
Monday the 26th is our first birthing class, or whatever you call them these days. I was kind of surprised they scheduled it so late (you don't get to choose) but I guess they don't want the info to go stale. I'm interested to see whether Hubby and I find any value in it because I'm hearing from a lot of like-minded moms who have been through this that they dropped-out early. It seems to me that the classes might be more skewed towards those masochistic (in my scaredy-cat opinion) women who want to do it without painkillers etc... As one friend of a friend said: who needs breathing techniques when you've got epidurals? That's what I'm talking about.
Had my blood glucose test on Tuesday morning. They say it takes 1-3 days to process and they only call you if there's something wrong. So, today is the last day that I'm going to have a heart attack every time the phone rings. Of course, I could just call for the results but I'm too chicken-shit.
What else is there to tell you? Oh! Last night I thought I felt my first Braxton Hicks contraction but, in hindsight, it might just have been really bad gas. Haha! Otherwise, baby is very active, sometimes so much so that I have to jiggle my tummy to get him/her to stop so I can catch my breath. The kicks and punches are one thing, but when they're both together AND coupled with a change in position, it can get a bit overwhelming. It's almost as if baby takes up so much room with his/her movements that all the air gets pushed out of my lungs. It is a most disconcerting feeling. I'm doing the kick-count thing and, if I pick the right time of day, I can literally get 10 kicks in a couple of minutes. The average is about 5 minutes, however.
Nursery is almost finished and it looks FANTASTIC. When the blinds and curtains are in I'll post a photo. Hubby did such a wonderful job on all the trim-work and putting together all the furniture etc.. It's a very restful room with soothing colors and lots of natural light during the day (hence the need for blinds and curtains.) When I was stressed-out from work the other day, I actually walked in there and sat on the glider for a few moments and it made me feel so much calmer.
Am I getting excited? I'm not sure exactly. I'm still in that weird state of disconnectedness in many ways. I'm not worrying about it or overanalyzing it too much. Everyone's different and I'm just accepting that this is me. In a lot of ways I can't wait: (a) for the next 80 days to go by so I can start the process of reclaiming my body for myself (b) to see if it's a boy or girl and (c) to just have the labor/delivery part over, over, over and behind me. In many other ways I'm a little scared about the unknowns of the delivery and the first 6-8 weeks thereafter.
Actually, it's funny (not funny haha but funny peculiar) because I find myself in the same frame of mind in 2009 as I was this time in 2008 - only last year I was anxious about my March hip surgery. It's a similar emotional/mental/physical process for me in many ways because there is the excitement to come out the other side but the apprehension of what it will be like immediately thereafter. The hip surgery and immediate recovery wasn't as bad as I imagined it to be, let's hope that the baby thing is the same way.
Here's what's supposedly going on in the bump right now:
As the Big Day nears, your baby is getting ready to go towards the light at the end of the tunnel (the tunnel being the birth canal, the light being the one the doctor is shining directly into it so she can see what the heck she's doing). Other highlights this week:
Your baby's eyes are partially open now and can blink. Truly superior babies can actually wink. (OK, there is no way to prove that, but it's fun to imagine, no?) Your baby can also now become a shiny, happy person as she has begun having rapid eye movement (Get it? REM? Shiny, happy person?? We'll be here all week.)
Her eyes have color now, too. It may not be the color she ultimately ends up with, especially if they're light gray or blue. The eyes typically don't settle on a final hue until nine months after baby is born. So when your mother-in-law says that the baby has her eyes, you can politely inform her that they'll most likely change soon. Sorry.
Your babe is downright chubby compared to a few weeks ago. She is about 15 inches long, about the length of an amusement park cinnamon-sugar-coated churro (yum!), and weighs 2 to 3 pounds.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Give me a break.
Pregnancy newsletter email from today:
"Have you been staying up all night thinking about all the things you won't be able to do once the baby arrives — seeing the world, taking up exotic hobbies, getting that golf handicap down, or even just going out at night whenever the urge hits? Time for an attitude adjustment. Instead of thinking of what you won't have in your life any more (or won't have as much opportunity for), start thinking of what you will have in your life. Will your life be different (your favorite hobby becomes blowing raspberries on that chubby little belly; your late nights involve rocking instead of dancing)? Absolutely. Will it be better? Immeasurably."
You know what? No, I haven't been staying awake all night feeling sorry for myself or wringing my hands like someone with OCD. How about we redefine this whole "sacrifice" thing? Instead of making it about losing things and replacing them, why don't we think about adding new things and trying to incorporate the baby into old things, sharing them with your child? Ok, so it may not always be possible (especially right away) and it may be a lot more effort, but that doesn't make it impossible.
I'm absolutely sick to death of hearing the modern mantras about all the things you can't do once you're a mother BUT how woooonderful you'll think blowing raspberries on your baby's tummy will be instead.
You know who I don't hear this from? Anyone over the age of 40-45 when they recall bringing up their kids. They talk about sharing their life with their kids, not changing their life (and themselves) to reorient around them. (Which, incidentally, is not the same as not accepting that your life will change.) They didn't think about sacrifice because there wasn't this weird, masochistic culture of the 'uber-mom' for them to live up to, that we have today. They didn't read books and blogs and articles about how to be the perfect mother and then spend hours biting their nails to the quick as they stressed about all the things they were falling short on. They just took things as they came, loved their kids, and did the best they could.
Yes, this is going to be the hardest thing I've probably ever had to deal with in my life. Yes, it will be full of surprises good and bad. Yes, I'm probably going to have to revise my own personal mantra here and there to accomodate this new reality. But no, I'm done with all this condescending, patronizing, coo-coo talk that attempts to lull me into a state of zombified cultural compliance and non-resistance.
I'm unsubscribing from all these ridiculous newsletters. They are the ones driving me mad, not anything going on in my head.
"Have you been staying up all night thinking about all the things you won't be able to do once the baby arrives — seeing the world, taking up exotic hobbies, getting that golf handicap down, or even just going out at night whenever the urge hits? Time for an attitude adjustment. Instead of thinking of what you won't have in your life any more (or won't have as much opportunity for), start thinking of what you will have in your life. Will your life be different (your favorite hobby becomes blowing raspberries on that chubby little belly; your late nights involve rocking instead of dancing)? Absolutely. Will it be better? Immeasurably."
You know what? No, I haven't been staying awake all night feeling sorry for myself or wringing my hands like someone with OCD. How about we redefine this whole "sacrifice" thing? Instead of making it about losing things and replacing them, why don't we think about adding new things and trying to incorporate the baby into old things, sharing them with your child? Ok, so it may not always be possible (especially right away) and it may be a lot more effort, but that doesn't make it impossible.
I'm absolutely sick to death of hearing the modern mantras about all the things you can't do once you're a mother BUT how woooonderful you'll think blowing raspberries on your baby's tummy will be instead.
You know who I don't hear this from? Anyone over the age of 40-45 when they recall bringing up their kids. They talk about sharing their life with their kids, not changing their life (and themselves) to reorient around them. (Which, incidentally, is not the same as not accepting that your life will change.) They didn't think about sacrifice because there wasn't this weird, masochistic culture of the 'uber-mom' for them to live up to, that we have today. They didn't read books and blogs and articles about how to be the perfect mother and then spend hours biting their nails to the quick as they stressed about all the things they were falling short on. They just took things as they came, loved their kids, and did the best they could.
Yes, this is going to be the hardest thing I've probably ever had to deal with in my life. Yes, it will be full of surprises good and bad. Yes, I'm probably going to have to revise my own personal mantra here and there to accomodate this new reality. But no, I'm done with all this condescending, patronizing, coo-coo talk that attempts to lull me into a state of zombified cultural compliance and non-resistance.
I'm unsubscribing from all these ridiculous newsletters. They are the ones driving me mad, not anything going on in my head.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Perfect! Neither in nor out.
No, not my belly button (which is still IN, btw)... our baby names.
Here are the top baby names coming in favor and going out of favor. I'm happy to see that Daisy and Elliott are not on any of these lists. Neither are they on the Top 100 names of 2008 OR the list of trends for 2009.
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See top new baby name trends here
Here are the top baby names coming in favor and going out of favor. I'm happy to see that Daisy and Elliott are not on any of these lists. Neither are they on the Top 100 names of 2008 OR the list of trends for 2009.
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Every year, names make their way up and down our top baby names list. See what's in and what's out for 2008:
The climbers
Girls' names
- Peyton vaulted from 57 to 30 this year, making it our biggest jumper
- Lila (up 26), leads the "L" contingent, which dominated the up-and-comers this year; four of our eight fastest movers start with this letter
- Leah (up 23)
- Layla (up 16)
- Sophie (up 15)
- Callie (up 10)
- Lucy (up 10)
- Charlotte (up 10)
Boys' names
- Brody is the most impressive riser, moving up 29 spots on the list
- Colton (up 14)
- Wyatt (up 14)
- Oliver (up 13)
- Chase (up 11)
- Nathaniel (up 11)
- Samuel (up 11)
- Cooper (up 8)
The newcomers
Girls' names
- Aaliyah – an impressive debut, entering the top 100 at 60
- Cadence
- Carly
- Liliana
- Jocelyn
- Evelyn
Boys' names
- Eli makes quite an entrance at 85
- Grayson
- Will
- Josiah
- Micah
On the way out
Girls' names
- Emily, though still hugely popular, continues its slow descent since hitting #1 in 2003; is down by six from last year, landing at 14
- Rachel, along with Gabrielle, holds the dubious honor of falling out of favor the fastest, down 22
- Nevaeh (down 21)
- Ashley (down 19)
- Megan (down 16)
- Kaelyn (down 14)
- Alexandra (down 14)
Boys' names
- Xavier was a big mover last year but lost its footing this year, dropping 15 spots
- Jordan (down 15)
- Justin (down 13)
- Isaiah (down 11)
- Brandon (down 10)
- Alex (down 8)
- Devin (down 8)
- Austin (down 7)
See top new baby name trends here
The weird ads you get when you're up the duff
Announcing the V2 Supporter
Some women find that the pressure on their vagina as they near the end of pregnancy can be uncomfortable ... or even unbearably painful. Here's a way to give your hoo-ha a little woohoo!.
When your vajingo needs a helping hand, the V2 Supporter lends one in all the right places. This stretchy cotton band is fully adjustable to give you a lift where you need it most, taking care of painful swelling and pressure. It's true the contraption looks strikingly like a lace-trimmed jock strap—but if it provides you with a pain-free cha-cha, we're betting you don't give a rat's patootie.
----------------
How many different words for vagina can you count in this ad?
My only only hope is that my woohootootie doesn't need to cha-cha in this thing.
Some women find that the pressure on their vagina as they near the end of pregnancy can be uncomfortable ... or even unbearably painful. Here's a way to give your hoo-ha a little woohoo!.
Just when you thought you'd experienced the last of the crazy pregnancy symptoms (Hello, nipple hair!), along come varicose veins on your hoo-ha. Doesn't that just beat all? Of course it's the last thing you want to talk about, but when your insides feel like they're about to bottom out, it's pretty much all you can think about. Stop the insanity with a little well-positioned support.
When your vajingo needs a helping hand, the V2 Supporter lends one in all the right places. This stretchy cotton band is fully adjustable to give you a lift where you need it most, taking care of painful swelling and pressure. It's true the contraption looks strikingly like a lace-trimmed jock strap—but if it provides you with a pain-free cha-cha, we're betting you don't give a rat's patootie.
----------------
How many different words for vagina can you count in this ad?
My only only hope is that my woohootootie doesn't need to cha-cha in this thing.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
"The Bump": 27 weeks/6 months
So, I guess I now leave it to you to determine whether you think I look 6 months pregnant or "ready to pop".
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Double ughh, harumpf and owwww!
Yesterday was our 6-month ObGyn visit. As usual, it was a 10 minute routine in-and-out. A quick summary of events includes:
Yes, I managed to injure myself again. I seem to be a walking disaster area since I got pregnant.
Yesterday I was did my pre-natal yoga video. This is generally a doddle for me and something I do at least 1-2 times a week. In the middle of a side-angle pose, I lost my footing and, in trying to stay balanced laterally, strained a muscle or muscles in my groin/inner thigh. I heard a little crack or pop (I know, not good) and then had pain in my groin when righting myself and standing. My first thought was my mended hip joint - I'll go into a pink fit if I've done anything to make that resurrect itself because it's been in great shape over the last few months.
I'm resting and icing the area regularly in the hope that it's just a strain, and I don't feel any instability or clicking in my right hip joint, which seems to suggest I haven't done any joint damage. I'm ok to walk and not in a lot of pain but my inner-thigh and groin on my right side, and a little bit of my outer hip, does feel sore and certain movements 'tweak' it.
It seems like something is conspiring against me getting any kind of cardiovascular exercise - first the toe and now the hip. I'm not going to be going on any long walks for a while, which won't help the weight gain or the gestational diabetes (should I have it.) I'm thinking of heading back to the gym to get on the arm cycle. I've got to get some kind of cardiovascular exercise somehow for me and the baby's good.
Sigh... these things are sent to try us, I guess.
- Momma put on 6lbs. Ughh. My overall weight gain to-date is about 21lbs, which is approximately normal but heading toward the high side - 25lbs to 30lbs is the ideal for a woman of average size pre-pregnancy. Since I was a little on the heavy side before I started (yes I was, don't argue - the scales don't lie), I was hoping to keep it to 25lbs but that doesn't look likely now, considering I still have 3 months left. I'm trying to look on the positive side - I just came out the other side of Christmas and a guilt-free trip home and hopefully the next three months will be a more steady, healthy gain. Incidentally, for those of you that don't know, the average woman's weight gain of around 30lbs breaks down as follows: 3lbs of blood, 2lbs in your breasts, 2lbs in the uterus itself, 2lbs of amniotic fluid, 4lbs of retained water, 2lbs of placenta, 7lbs of fats, proteins and other nutrients, and 7-8lbs of baby. So, during delivery, you should lose the weight of the baby, the placenta, the amniotic fluid, and perhaps some blood and water (estimated around 10-14lbs). That leaves 12-16lbs to lubb-off afterward. Delightful. It is what it is, I guess. I'd just like to make it as easy as possible, while still at the same time ensuring a healthy baby (which doesn't seem to be a problem... read on...)
- Baby's heartbeat is loud and healthy.
- Momma's belly is measuring slightly larger than expected (but within normal parameters). Ughh, again. Yes, yes, I know... here I was moaning about the subjectivity of people's comments and it turns out they are a tad right. I just hope this doesn't mean a large baby. Can I hear c-section?
- Doctor found some sugar in my urine that makes her a little concerned that I might be developing gestational diabetes. Harumpf. It could also be something to do with the fact that we got up late and I'll I'd had for breakfast was coffee with sugar, OR that I ate ten hot tamales before bed the night before OR that I took a break from my usual healthy eating habits over the holiday and haven't quite recovered. Let's hope so. Blood glucose test is next Tuesday and I'm eating extra specially good between now and then. Fingers crossed.
- Time to count kicks. Starting now and every day until baby is born, I have to count the baby's kicks. For those of you who are mommas already this is new but, for the uninitiated this involves: picking a time of day when the baby is most active, recording the time of the first kick and then recording the time of the 10th kick. You then record the total minutes it took to get to #10, expecting it to take no longer than an hour. If you can't feel 10 movements in an hour during the course of the day, or the baby doesn't move at all, you need to call your doctor. (I think the latter is a no-brainer but I can see how you might just get through your day wondering if you felt the baby move today. It does become a bit old hat.)
Yes, I managed to injure myself again. I seem to be a walking disaster area since I got pregnant.
Yesterday I was did my pre-natal yoga video. This is generally a doddle for me and something I do at least 1-2 times a week. In the middle of a side-angle pose, I lost my footing and, in trying to stay balanced laterally, strained a muscle or muscles in my groin/inner thigh. I heard a little crack or pop (I know, not good) and then had pain in my groin when righting myself and standing. My first thought was my mended hip joint - I'll go into a pink fit if I've done anything to make that resurrect itself because it's been in great shape over the last few months.
I'm resting and icing the area regularly in the hope that it's just a strain, and I don't feel any instability or clicking in my right hip joint, which seems to suggest I haven't done any joint damage. I'm ok to walk and not in a lot of pain but my inner-thigh and groin on my right side, and a little bit of my outer hip, does feel sore and certain movements 'tweak' it.
It seems like something is conspiring against me getting any kind of cardiovascular exercise - first the toe and now the hip. I'm not going to be going on any long walks for a while, which won't help the weight gain or the gestational diabetes (should I have it.) I'm thinking of heading back to the gym to get on the arm cycle. I've got to get some kind of cardiovascular exercise somehow for me and the baby's good.
Sigh... these things are sent to try us, I guess.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The invisible belly measurement tool
Twice today, AGAIN, I was verbally assaulted by people amazed that I was "only" 6 months pregnant.
First was at my PCP's office. I had to go in for my broken toe, which seems to have taken a slight turn for the worse. The nurse who checked me in, and who I had spoken to yesterday, greeted me and immediately exclaimed "Oh my, you ARE pregnant!" Then, when she reaffirmed my due date, she asked "Wow, that far away still?"
Then I headed out to Barnes and Noble to pick up a book. The cashier asked me how many months pregnant I was and when I told her she said "Really? Are you sure that's all? Do you have twins in there? You look much further along than that."
I'm still so shocked at people's audacity that I haven't quite been at my best and most quick-witted in responding with some ascerbic comment. Yet.
So I have this question. Maybe you can help me answer it?
Is there a commonly known belly measurement tool out there, that I have thus-far not been made aware of, that enables people to instantly compare the size of your pregnant belly against the "norm"?
I don't know about you but I don't know of any objective, laymen's measurement tool out there (so other than a professional ObGyn's measuring tape), that dictates how big or small a pregnant woman's belly should be at any given time. It's like trying to tell a 13 year old girl that her boobs shouldn't be so big yet. Every body is different - boobs, butts, and bellies alike.
So, again, I also ask why it is that strangers seem to have no problem more-or-less telling you you're 'fat' upon first sight? For instance, would that cashier have even thought to say to an obese person "Wow, your thighs are way bigger than I would expect for someone of your size!" Of course not. So what, exactly, makes my pregnant belly any different?
What exactly is the point in commenting on the unexpected size of someone's pregnant belly? What does it matter? What kind of conversation do people think it will inspire? And, exactly how do they expect me to respond to the "Are you sure?" comments? Surely, they're not serious in expecting me to have got it horribly wrong? As all you mothers out there know, by the time you've reached the 6 month mark, you're studiously counting the days until you can finally get your body back... there's no way in hell you'd be "off" a month or two.
Perhaps my new response for these ludicrously insensitive people should be something along the lines of: "Umm... well, it is actually a little bit under debate because my husband was out of town for a while, and I was fucking my the guy next door, so it could be his. Or my old boyfriend's, who I hooked-up with after we went out with drinks several months back. So I'm just trying to stick to the 6-months measurement so my husband doesn't get suspicious."
I'm sure that would clamp their mouths firmly shut.
The other, less shocking option, could be to ask "Why? Exactly how big should I be right now?" I guarantee 90% of them would say "I don't know, but you look further along than 6 months,", to which I could reply "Based upon what, exactly?" Throw it right back at them, make them realize the idiocy of their comment, I say.
Nah, I like the dubious father answer better... way more fun.
p.s. On the toe, all is fine. Nothing I can do but wait the usual 6-8 weeks for it to repair itself.
First was at my PCP's office. I had to go in for my broken toe, which seems to have taken a slight turn for the worse. The nurse who checked me in, and who I had spoken to yesterday, greeted me and immediately exclaimed "Oh my, you ARE pregnant!" Then, when she reaffirmed my due date, she asked "Wow, that far away still?"
Then I headed out to Barnes and Noble to pick up a book. The cashier asked me how many months pregnant I was and when I told her she said "Really? Are you sure that's all? Do you have twins in there? You look much further along than that."
I'm still so shocked at people's audacity that I haven't quite been at my best and most quick-witted in responding with some ascerbic comment. Yet.
So I have this question. Maybe you can help me answer it?
Is there a commonly known belly measurement tool out there, that I have thus-far not been made aware of, that enables people to instantly compare the size of your pregnant belly against the "norm"?
I don't know about you but I don't know of any objective, laymen's measurement tool out there (so other than a professional ObGyn's measuring tape), that dictates how big or small a pregnant woman's belly should be at any given time. It's like trying to tell a 13 year old girl that her boobs shouldn't be so big yet. Every body is different - boobs, butts, and bellies alike.
So, again, I also ask why it is that strangers seem to have no problem more-or-less telling you you're 'fat' upon first sight? For instance, would that cashier have even thought to say to an obese person "Wow, your thighs are way bigger than I would expect for someone of your size!" Of course not. So what, exactly, makes my pregnant belly any different?
What exactly is the point in commenting on the unexpected size of someone's pregnant belly? What does it matter? What kind of conversation do people think it will inspire? And, exactly how do they expect me to respond to the "Are you sure?" comments? Surely, they're not serious in expecting me to have got it horribly wrong? As all you mothers out there know, by the time you've reached the 6 month mark, you're studiously counting the days until you can finally get your body back... there's no way in hell you'd be "off" a month or two.
Perhaps my new response for these ludicrously insensitive people should be something along the lines of: "Umm... well, it is actually a little bit under debate because my husband was out of town for a while, and I was fucking my the guy next door, so it could be his. Or my old boyfriend's, who I hooked-up with after we went out with drinks several months back. So I'm just trying to stick to the 6-months measurement so my husband doesn't get suspicious."
I'm sure that would clamp their mouths firmly shut.
The other, less shocking option, could be to ask "Why? Exactly how big should I be right now?" I guarantee 90% of them would say "I don't know, but you look further along than 6 months,", to which I could reply "Based upon what, exactly?" Throw it right back at them, make them realize the idiocy of their comment, I say.
Nah, I like the dubious father answer better... way more fun.
p.s. On the toe, all is fine. Nothing I can do but wait the usual 6-8 weeks for it to repair itself.
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