39 weeks today

We're officially 39 weeks today and, if we went on estimated due date alone, exactly one week out from being fully-cooked. However, as much as I like my meat well-done, I'm happy for a little medium-well in this instance. Friday definitely can't come fast enough.

Today is my last day of work (although I tied up most of my loose ends yesterday) and Mum and Dad are arriving in this afternoon, so things are definitely getting started.

Although the poll to the right indicates that most of you believe baby is a boy at this point, the tide has decidedly turned with in-person guesses. Most people I ask now think it's a girl! You know, I've thought it would be a boy all along and, with the baby's size and some other "old wives tale" indicators, people seemed to think I was right. However, recently I've been thinking that it would be so like my child to be a girl, sitting in there listening to all this nonsense and thinking "Haha! Am I going to fool you or WHAT!?" Hubby and I truly don't care at all, we'll be happy with whatever we get, but it's still fun to speculate especially now the answer is just a few days away.

According to the folks at 3dpregnancy.com, here's what's going on w/ Baby Vixen this week.

One uncomfortable complaint of late pregnancy is frequent hiccups. No, not you, your baby. Because there is no air around your baby, when she practices breathing, it can cause amniotic fluid to get into her windpipe, resulting in those regularly spaced thumps that make you think you're carrying a jumping bean in your belly.

Other news this week:

The lanugo (an exotic word for soft, downy hair) that used to cover your baby's body has mostly disappeared, but you may find a bit leftover on the shoulders, forehead and neck. Don't freak and think you've given birth to a monkey: It'll fall out soon.

The color of baby's skin is changing from a red-pink hue to a white or blue-pink color (even in babes with dark skin). These changes are due to the amount of fat your little pudger is putting on.

The circumference of your baby's head and abdomen are about the same size now (though you may not be able to tell if your baby's born with the common cone-shaped head!).

The placenta is lending your Mini antibodies that'll keep him strong and healthy after birth. That said, it's still a good idea to invest in that mega-size bottle of hand sanitizer.


As for momma, nothing new to add to my previous gripes and complaints. No real signs of impending labor, although I did have a very brief but discernable Braxton Hicks contraction yesterday in the bathroom of Noah's Bagels (of all places.) It probably only lasted 5-10 seconds but it was definitely not baby moving. I was about to head into a work meeting so, of course, I was thinking "Typical, I'm going to go into labor in the middle of the meeting." Fortunately it didn't happen and I haven't felt anything else like it since.

At least if it happens after today, Mum and Dad will be here and I won't be laying in the Labor and Delivery room feeling sick that they will miss the big event. Even so, let's hope that's not how it goes down. Fingers, toes, arms, legs etc... firmly crossed for baby to stick it out all the way through to Friday @ 1pm.

A cousin and best friend for Baby McDaid

At a approximately 9:45pm yesterday, March 27th, my sister-in-law had her c-section and we welcomed baby Ezrah into our family. Vital stats are 7lbs 9oz and about 20.5" long.

Both mother and baby are doing extremely well and Hubby and I managed to sneak-in this morning to be the very first visitors to get cuddles.

Ezrah is extremely chill (barely a murmur out of him the whole time we were there) and looks a little more McDaid and a little less Ting than his older sister, Adah, did at this time. But babies change, as we all know, so who knows who he'll look most like a week from now? My mother-in-law commented to me on the phone this evening that he looks a lot like Hubby when he was born, which is difficult to verify since I have NEVER seen a picture of my husband any younger than about 3 years old - being the last of 3 kids, I think the novelty had worn off by the time he came along!

If course, the freakiest thing of all was that, assuming our ultrasound technician wasn't on drugs, the baby in my belly was actually about this size 2 weeks ago and is probably a few ounces bigger by now. Umm... can you say YIKES!? It was really weird holding Ezrah and thinking that there's something in my stomach of an equal size. No wonder those feet in my ribs hurt like hell!!!!!

On the way into the hospital I gave baby McDaid a little talking to and mentioned that we were going to see his/her cousin and that he/she was going to get to grow up and be great friends with him. It's going to be so fun to see if that's true!

We went to visit Ezrah first thing this morning at the new Kaiser newborn unit in Roseville and let me tell you, that place is NO JOKE when it comes to security.

First of all, fun anecdote, we walk into the lobby and the security guard asked "Checking in?" and Hubby (oblivious to his meaning) said "Yes!". It took me to speak up and point out that we were just visiting the frequent flyers, not actually getting on the plane today.

Then, when it was clearly established that this bun was going to stay in the oven for now, we got to apply for our visitor's badges. It's all very modern and high-tech. One of the four security guards on duty (the other three were horsing around - very efficient) asked us for our photo ID, then scanned it against this screen which took our picture and name from the ID and plopped it onto a very fancy visitor's badge. (If you don't have a driver's license/ID, like if you're a kid, they have a camera that takes your pic there and then!) Then, when we got to the 3rd floor where the patient rooms are, we had to approach a high-tech buzzer and hold our IDs/visitor badges up to the screen so the nurse could see them clearly, just to get through the door. This all worked fine and dandy at 9:30am but when my mother-in-law arrived later in the day, she had to wait in line for 30 minutes just to get her badge! And this is all with the 176 room unit not even 1/4 full right now. Methinks this system is going to have to be rethunk in months to come.

Another fun anecdote from our visit.. Hubby got some weird hairs up his ass and decided it would be fun to steal surgical gloves and a hospital barf bag. Aparently he thought the gloves would be perfect for painting, and the barf bag would work well in his car for emergencies. He put the barf bag back after he saw the exasperated look on my face, however. I mean, seriously, SURGICAL GLOVES AND A BARF BAG???? The man can be just weird sometimes.

As for me, today was harsh. I think the climbing temperatures are coming at entirely the wrong time for me. Although I had a ton of energy, my feet have been swollen and itchy all day, as have my hands. I can barely stand for 10 minutes before I have to sit down and put my feet up again. It was brutal to feel energetic but be physically incapable of actually doing anything for any length of time, except for sitting of course. I'm so glad I can count the time left in mere days now.

260 down, 7 to go

This time next week Hubby and I will be waking up on our last morning without Baby McDaid. Whoaaah - we truly are on the home stretch!

I truly believe that the reason that pregnancy is 9, almost 10 months, incredibly uncomfortable, and full of frustration/fears is so that, when you get to the end like this, any worries or concerns you have about parenthood are completely and utterly dwarfed by an all encompassing desire to GET THIS THING OUT OF ME! I know for sure that I'm way less freaked-out about the impending due-date than Hubby and I'm pretty confident our different physical states are to blame.

Tonight is the arrival by c-section of our new nephew, Baby Boy Ting. Hubby's sister goes in tonight at 8pm and we can't wait to meet him. Obviously, we're really excited that Baby McDaid will have a cousin that is almost exactly the same age. It will be so fun to watch them grow up together!

Tuesday Mum and Dad arrive and it's my last day of work (YEEEEHAAAAW!)

And now we have a time!

Note: Exactly 38 weeks today. 14 days to our actual due date.

Last week we got a date - 4/3 - and now we have a time - 1pm - for Baby McDaid to be born.

Having it solidified like this, as an actual appointment, makes it feel more real all of a sudden. I have to say that I'm so excited for this to be OVER that I can't even begin to feel worried about the needles and the surgery. IV? Bring it on! Epidural? Gimme! Hole in my abdomen? Get on with it!

Hubby had the same 'deer in the headlights' look after our ObGyn appointment today that he had last week. I think the reality is creeping up on him faster because he's not in such physical discomfort that any type of end to it all is going to be considered a relief... even if it brings with it new and different challenges. (The key here being DIFFERENT.)

As for the standard medical measurements:

• Blood pressure = good
• Baby's heart rate = good
• Momma's weight = down 0.2lbs (woot woot)

Not counting today, we have just 9 days to go before D-Day. THANK GOD!

What does a 5ft 2inch woman look like when carrying an 8lb baby?

Like zis...



How does a 5ft 2inch woman FEEL when carrying an 8lb baby?

• Feet hurt after just a couple of minutes standing
• Walking more than a block is out of the question
• Walking faster than a tortoise is out of the question
• Hands hurt, like I've been doing major yoga handstands for 12 hours a day
  
• Lower abs constantly hurt
• Hips clicking and hip flexors sore/tight
• Baby bopping bladder feels like knives in her woowoo
• Constantly needing to pee (3x in 20 mins is the current record)
• Belly button feels like end of overstuffed sausage
• Right side of belly bruised from inside out from baby kicks
• Completely useless around the house - each chore requires a rest before beginning the next (bring on maid visit #2 next week!)
• Bored and frustrated because getting out and about aint so easy any more
  
• Concerned that all those cute newborn outfits will be immediately obsolete
• Exhausted
• Extremely thankful that she has a fantastic husband who looks after her and doesn't groan each time she whines about being pregnant
  

15 days

We have a date!

Our ObGyn today agreed that the baby is indeed big and my pelvis is indeed small, so it doesn't look like a good match. Although she didn't push us toward a c-section at all, she did say that she felt that it would probably be the safest option. So, as we thought, we're going for the scheduled-c.

Our date right now is Friday, April 3rd. Time is still tbd but it looks like early afternoon for the surgery (1:30 - 2-ish). We need to be there 2 hours ahead for some standard bloodwork and paperwork etc..

Obviously I'm not thrilled about surgery but I do like having a solid date to look forward to, an end in sight. Even so, Hubby and I are a bit dubious about Baby McDaid's ability to make it another 15 days. I've begun getting Braxton Hicks contractions and, as you know from yesterday's post, I have 'dropped'. The doctor didn't do an internal exam to determine if I am at all effaced or dilated because those can sometimes speed up the onset of labor (which we now do not want to do.) However, I'm hoping that by taking it easy (yes, me!) I can avoid going into labor and necessitating an emergency c-section. I think I can try that for 2 weeks. We'll see!

I did find out that I only put on 0.2lbs in the past 10 days, however, which was a hallelujah moment because I've been fighting ridiculous amounts of hunger on an increasingly frequent basis.

While I was full of elation for the dropping yesterday, today I have started to experience the other side of the coin - it literally feels like the bottom is about to drop out of my stomach! Arrggh! My poor hip, pelvis, and lower ab muscles/tendons are on overdrive - they are not happy.

I am also more and more tired as the days wear on. Although I try to get stuff done around the house, I don't last very long before something - exhaustion, swollen feet, back-ache, pelvic pain - makes me sit down. I've become a late afternoon napper (something I definitely cannot do ordinarily) and have trouble getting going in the morning. With all this in mind and, to help myself prepare for the big day, I've decided to go out on leave just a couple of days early - April 1st. Mum and Dad arrive on the 31st and it will be nice to spend some quality time with them before the baby arrives and, at the same time, I can work on making sure absolutely everything around the house is ready for baby's arrival. So, just 8 more working days to go...

DROPPED

I have a feeling I have, at least. My "upper shelf" seems to be an inch or two down from where it was and I feel more pressure on my pelvis. Not painful (thank GOD!), just noticeable. I guess we'll find out tomorrow; I'm pretty sure my doc will give me one of those very enjoyable internal exams.

I'm freaking poor Hubby out. Every "sign" seems to make him feel like birth is imminent. He commented yesterday that the baby dates are now potentially coinciding with appointments already on his calendar. Men! Reality hits when baby starts interfering with work.

I might be crazy or delusional but I'm pretty calm, unphased and, finally, excited. It's a bit like booking a vacation. When you first book it, you're really excited but then a couple of days later you realize it's so far off that your "high" wanes. In the inbetween times there's work, housework, chores... general, boring life. Then, as you're making your packing list and final plans for your departure, it starts to sink in (or drop - haha!) and you start to get excited again. Although I realize that having a baby is no vacation (aside from the no-working thing), the psychological process is similar.

Spawn of the Incredible Hulk

This afternoon was our 37 week ultrasound to measure the size of the baby and to help us/our OBGYN decide if a scheduled c-section is the best course of action.

According to the "average" stats for week 37, this is where we should be at:

(Courtesy of www.babycenter.com)
Congratulations! Your baby is full-term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away. He weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long.

However, the ultrasound technician's noises of surprise while measuring our baby today said it all and here is the verdict:

Estimated current weight: 7lbs 13ozs (there's an over/under of 9ozs)
Estimated due date based upon size: 3/31/09 (1 week earlier than our dates indicate)
Percentile based upon new, estimated due date: 90th (whoaaa!)

Bottom line - this baby exceeds the height and weight limit of the tunnel ahead. Time for some medical intervention (and time to take back some of those newborn onesies that only work up to 8lbs!)

Our next scheduled appointment with our OB is not until Monday but I'm going to try and see if I can get in a tad earlier so we can discuss the potential schedule. From what we heard last time around, she only does surgeries on Fridays, which would put us at the 27th or the 3rd. Judging by the new due date calculation, the 27th would be the safest option. By strange coinkindink, that's also the date my sister-in-law goes in for her c-section.

Obviously we still need to wait and see but that would be just like us to wind up in surgery on the same day. My poor mother in law won't know what to do with herself (since we're several miles apart in different hospitals) but may not have any choice - my 2.5 year old niece needs someone to babysit her while half her family are off giving birth.

As for my parents, this isn't such great news. They moved their flight up from 4/6 to 3/31 and so we were at least hoping I could make it that far. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Other than size concerns, baby seems chubby and healthy, if a little squished in there. All vital organs are functioning well and heart-rate is around 130 - low because he/she is so big. Also, the ultrasound technician thought she saw some hair on his/her head, which is good news since I was born practically bald! We got some pics but, honestly, you wouldn't know what I was showing you if I posted them - it was definitely a "you had to be there" kind of thing.

Stay tuned for more definitive details as and when they arrive.
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FOOTNOTE: Yes, Hubby is PANICKING. Me, I just want a date now. Gimme a date.

Momma Gym Rat: A thrice weekly social experiment

As most of you know, prior to being preggers, I was a bit of a gym rat. For almost 15 years, I was the crazy girl who actually enjoyed getting up at 4:30am, 3-4 days a week, to lift weights and sweat it out on the elliptical machine. I was even a certified personal trainer for a while.

Not so since this bun started to bake in my oven.

My first trimester really threw me for a loop because I just couldn't work out without feeling like I was about to bile-burp in my mouth with every movement. So traumatized was I that it actually took me until week 16 to start working out at all and even then that was at home to an exercise video. I actually didn't go back to the gym until the beginning of this year, when 3rd trimester depression threatened. You could say my return had more to do with my mental than physical health.

In the last month, however, going to the gym has been an interesting experiment in human nature and cultural/generational attitudes toward pregnancy. Now that I look "ready to pop", the reaction of other gym-goers to seeing me on a weight machine or an elliptical trainer really has been varied and often amusing.

Here's a run-down of what I've been able to discern in terms of patterns:


Gen X and Y Guys: UNABASHED ASTONISHMENT. See my face, then my bump and can't seem to stop staring thereafter as they walk past. I haven't had this much male attention since I was in my mid twenties and weighed 50lbs less. (Of course, the reason is significantly different now.)

Gen X and Y Gals: SHY ASTONISHMENT. Brief stare, look of shock, and then look away when I smile back.

40-to-50-something women: CHEERLEADERS. This is the group most likely to stop you and congratulate you for looking after yourself during pregnancy. "Good for you!!!!! You go girl!!!!"

50+ somethings: DISDAIN. Much mouth twisting and frowning going on here. Men in this group are most likely to come up to you and say something like: "Looks like you're trying to get that baby out sooner rather than later!" or "Careful, you don't want to have it right here!"

Gym employees: UNCECESSARILY CONCERNED. They seem to think (personal trainer credentials or not) that I am either stupid or painfully mistaken in my being there and feel the need to provide "helpful" advice about not overdoing it or how I should/should not be using the machines. What's funny is that, since I have been a personal trainer, I realize that a lot of their "advice" is wrong and clearly demonstrates that they don't know what they're talking about.

I should point out here that I lift only light weights only w/ high reps and only do low impact cardio, being careful to never get out of breath. I focus on good form (and, unlike 9 out of 10 people at the gym, I do actually know what that means) because I know how how easy it is to get hurt when you're preggers. If anything hurts I slow down and/or stop. Hence, their reaction is not to any behavior I am displaying.


Anyway, it's fun to see people's reactions. Usually I like to bop around the gym, remaining invisible, but I kind of enjoy the infamy of being the 9 month pregnant woman who still works out. The one thing that WILL suck will be going back to the gym after birth. Then I'll just be another fat person trying to lose weight. Ugggh.

Just 600 hours to go...

Remember I said I was taking one day at a time? Well, scrap that, recently it's been one hour at a time. This week has been hard. Tuesday felt like Thursday, today felt like, well, the third Thursday in a row. In an effort to not let my discomfort and frustration build into a fever pitch of self-pity, I have literally been looking at things hour by hour.

Today I had to take the afternoon off work. This morning I did a conference call with the owners of my company from my bed. There was no other way to make it happen; I just couldn't pull it together.

It's the gas and related cramping that is killing me. It woke me up at 1:30am this morning, forcing me downstairs on the couch where I practiced my yoga breathing to get back to sleep. When I got up this morning, it started again and, although I had slept, I felt like I'd been up for 24 hours. Also, constipation is bye-bye, if you know what I mean. (Sorry if this is TMI.)

The exhaustion has been reminding me of those first, fateful 14 weeks of zombie-dom that I went through at the beginning of the pregnancy. I was able to lay on the bed for 2 hours this morning and on the armchair for another 2 this afternoon without either (a) falling asleep or (b) moving. I was in that inbetween state, kind of like when you take cold medicine that makes you drowsy - you could literally watch paint dry for hours without realizing how much time had passed or that you hadn't moved. The other feeling I can liken it to (however distant at this point) is the day after a drinking binge, although without any of the fun the night before.

It's rare that I "give in" to feelings of exhaustion, I usually just push myself through and fake it 'till I make it. It usually works too; eventually I start to feel better. Yesterday and today that just wasn't happening. There were no reserves to pull from. The tank was on empty. I could not pull it together.

This afternoon around 5pm I started to perk up (probably means I won't sleep tonight - great).

Other "joys" of the final few weeks from head-to-toe:

• Sinus congestion is getting worse. I'm a big bag of snot.
• Back hurts no matter what position I'm in.
• Hands keep cramping up from too much computer work. I actually massaged a knot out of the top of my right hand/wrist last night just so I could get to sleep.
• Fingers are swollen - I really fear I may have to have my "Shell" ring cut off my middle right finger before this is over.
  
• Skin on belly feels so tight it might peel off at any given moment.
• Skin at the top of my arms is itchy and dry.
• Feet get sore from just a few moments on my feet.
• Every joint in my body cracks with the slightest movement. A TMI anecdote - my shoulder pops in and out whenever I wipe myself from going to the bathroom.
• Moments of excitement (just over 3 weeks to go) are juxtaposed just seconds later with moment of extreme panic (oh my God my life is about to me unrecognizable; this baby can't be "sent back") and then back to optimism just as quickly (but I'll be able to have a martini!)

It really does feel like this pregnancy thing has taken forever. As I've said before, I barely remember what it feels like NOT to be pregnant any more. I certainly cannot see putting myself through all this again. In fact, the very thought makes me want to throw up... literally.

Frustrated (warning - looong)

This time not because of the usual pregnancy reasons but because of the labyrinth that is the U.S. Healthcare and benefits system. Any of my right-wing friends who want to lecture me about how a central, government run, single-payer system is bound to be inefficient and ineffective are quite literally delusional and have clearly never had first-hand experience with anything beyond a perfunctory doctor's appointment in the U.S. (and obviously have NO experience in the U.K.) Conversely, all my U.K. friends and family who complain about the N.H.S. (National Health Service) and government benefits system should stop. Right now. Stop. You have no idea how lucky you are.

First of all, let's start with pay and disability during maternity leave. You've heard this rant before but, instead of just raging against the only 1st world machine that doesn't provide any guaranteed, paid benefits for new mothers, now I'm frustrated at the number of forms that need to be completed and the complexity of the process to complete them.

Let's start by trying to explain to those of you who have never had to go through this process before, what benefits are available to new mothers (in California at least). This alone should be enough to blow your mind:

• Pregnancy Disability Leave (PDL): Expectant/new moms are entitled to four months of pregnancy disability leave IF, and for as long as, you are "disabled" due to your pregnancy, childbirth, and/or a related medical condition. PDL can be taken all at once during the few weeks before and after delivery, it can be taken at any time throughout and after your pregnancy for morning sickness, prenatal visits, complications, recovery etc... PDL is for any period(s) of actual disability caused by your pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions up to four months (or 88 workdays for a full-time employee) per pregnancy. An employee must be designated as disabled because of pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical condition by her treating physician in order to be eligible for PDL.
  
• Federal Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA): This act considers pregnancy a "serious health condition" and allows an employee to take up to twelve weeks of family leave for a pregnancy-related disability, without risk of losing their job. FMLA leave runs concurrently with (ie: starts at the same time as) PDL. It's not clear to me what the point of FMLA is exactly, since it runs at the same time as PDL and seems to have similar conditions.
  
• State Disability (SDI): During the period that you are disabled under PDL, you are eligible (after a 1 week waiting period) to claim disability pay under the California State Disability Insurance program. (This is only available if your company has paid into this program - if your company has less than 100 employees, they are not required to do so.) SDI is approximately 60% of your pay and is calculated based upon your earnings from a previous period, dependent on the date when you file your claim. For example, if you file in April, May, or June your base period is the 12 months ending last December 31. You are not eligible to receive SDI if you are also receiving Sick Pay from your employer at any time during your leave. Oh, btw, State Disability is calculated on weeks that run from Sunday through Saturday, just to complicate things further.
  
• California Family Right Act (CFRA): CFRA was established to ensure secure leave rights for, amongst other things, the birth of a child for purposes of bonding. CFRA kicks in after PDL kicks out and provides you with up to 6 weeks of baby bonding time that can be taken at any time in the 1st year after the baby is born. You have to take this time in 2 week increments except in two instances where you can take it in 1 week increments. You can receive vacation pay at the same time.
• Paid Family Leave (PFL): (Not to be confused with PDL.) During this time you are eligible for Paid Family Leave (a California benefit) which is calculated similarly to SDI (I think - all of this still isn't 100% clear in my mind.)

So, that's the benefits and entitlement stuff.

During all of this your employer is only required to keep your job open although many do much more. My employer is"kind" enough to offer the following:

1. You must use up your Sick Pay Benefits at the beginning of your leave. In my company this can be up to 3 weeks, presuming that you did not take a day off sick recently. (You can't accrue more than 3 weeks, however.) What if you (or your baby) get sick after you return to work? Until you accrue enough hours again, you'll have to take the time off unpaid. Fantastic, isn't it?
   
2. You may then (your choice) use your vacation time/pay for a portion of the rest of your leave. In my company this can be up to 3 weeks, presuming you've worked there for at least 5 years and that you haven't had a day off in a while.

After your sick and vacation pay runs out, they are not required to pay you a dime.

In order to make all this happen, there's a myriad of forms you need to complete.

1. A Medical Certificate for your employer, signed by your doctor - Apparently my employer needs this like yesterday but since I don't have a date to go out on leave yet, my doctor won't complete it. My doctor won't consider me as "disabled" until we've got the results of my 37 week ultrasound and have decided whether to go for a c-section or a vaginal birth, so I can't go out on leave until we've had that conversation because I'd have to just use my sick time and wouldn't get disability benefits. Plus, if I go out before the baby is born, this only further reduces the time and benefits I can use once the baby is here. If we decide to move forward with a vaginal birth, since I work from home and plan not to go out on leave until the baby is born, my doctor won't complete this paperwork until I do go out on leave - which probably won't be until the day I give birth because I'm (a) healthy and (b) work from home. But, as I said, my employer needs it now.
2. An EDD (Employment Development Department) Claim for Disability Benefits - This enables you to file for SDI. (Yes, you go to the EDD to file for SDI once you are on PDL!) This document cannot be completed by the doctor until you go out on leave. My doctor will not hold the paperwork and send it off when I go out on leave, although some do. So, this means that the day I give birth or the day I go in for my c-section, someone (namely Hubby) needs to walk these pieces of paper into the office to have them signed and sent-off. Of course, this will be the first thing on his mind on that day. NOT.
3. PFL form - I believe this is automatically sent to you once your PDL ends. Honestly, I'm not sure. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

All this is without mentioning the forms I need to get completed by the doctor at the beginning of my leave for AFLAC short term disability benefits (something I pay into every month out of my pay check to avoid financial ruin in the case of major illness or injury.)

Now let's talk Health "Insurance"

I have healthcare through my employer and (right now at least) do not participate in the cost of my insurance because I stick to the basic program (HMO). (I am assured that, due to the rising cost of health insurance, our company will require an as yet tbd employee participation in even the basic insurance in the 2009/2010 benefit year.) If I wanted to "buy up" into a better program of insurance, a PPO, I would need to pay $360 a month or $4,320 a year, to my employer. Umm... no thanks.

1. Each pre-natal doctor visit I have attended costs $25 in co-pays (for the UK peeps out there, this is the portion of the cost for your visit that you, as the patient, are responsible for - yes, even though you have "health insurance".) By the time my pregnancy has ended, I calculate that the total cost of pre-natal doctor visits alone will be: $325.00
2. Looking at my insurance paperwork, I also have a co-pay for my hospital stay. This works out to be $500 per day I am in hospital, up-to 4 days, after which time they pick up 100% of the cost. This means that, if I have a c-section and stay the routine 4 days, my co-pay will be: $2,000.00
3. Once baby is born, the average number of check-ups he/she will need to go through in the first year will be 6, each at $25 per visit. This does not include the cost of any extra visits or tests etc... that might need to be done if the baby is sick. Minimum total co-pays in first 12 months for well-baby visits: $150.
   
4. Within 6 weeks after the baby is born, I have to add him/her to my insurance. Since my company will only pay 100% for me, this will be a monthly cost of: $360 a month or $4,320 a year. Again, this number is likely to increase in December when my benefit year ends and my employer can no longer continue to keep-pace with the rising cost of health insurance.

TOTAL OUT OF POCKET HEALTHCARE COSTS TO
HAVE A BABY IN THE FIRST 12 MONTHS: $6,795.00

Note 1: the above number does not include the cost of any prescription drugs I take after birth/surgery. My co-pay for generic drugs is $15 per prescription.

Note 2: Once my employer stops paying me (after 3 weeks because I'm not going to use up my vacation time) then any out-of-pay-check benefits I currently have, I'll have to write a check to them for!

The other curve-ball we got thrown last night at our last birthing class was that, if we have a boy and want to get him circumcized (another topic altogether in our marriage), some insurance programs only cover circumcision when done at the hospital before you're released but then some pediatricians will only do it at their office. If that's the case, you have to pay 100% for the circumcision; it's not covered by your health insurance. So now we have to go back to my health insurance benefits paperwork, figure out if there are any such conditions, and then establish whether or not our pediatrician will do it in their office or if we can get it done at the hospital.

Adding to this conundrum is the fact that, since my insurance is an HMO, I am restricted to doctors within the Mercy Medical Group. When we were searching for pediatricians, we couldn't find anyone barely in the Folsom area (close to our hospital, Mercy Folsom). The one we found, liked, and ultimately picked is in Carmichael, and closer to Mercy San Juan. She does not have hospital privileges to Mercy Folsom. So, if we need to get our son circumcized at the hospital, we'll need to use the on-call pediatrician. At our Stork Tour last week, we were told that not all the pediatricians there will even perform circumcisions any more.

So, you know, who the **ck knows how we'll do it or who will pay. I'm done trying to figure it out, especially since it's not even me that wants to get it done (as I said, topic of debate in our marriage - English baby boys only get circumcized for medical/religious reasons and are in the vast minority, US babies used to be circumcized routinely but now the numbers drop every year as more parents choose not to. American Pediatric Association says there are benefits to circumcision but not enough to make it medically necessary.) Who knew a foreskin could be the subject of such debate????

The bottom line is that the system(s) out here are ridiculously convuluted and almost impossible to navigate. Even when you're lucky enough to have a job and insurance, you're still landed with high bills, lost income and paperwork. It's easy to see how 1 in every 3 bankruptcies in the U.S. every year are a result of healthcare costs.

Further, for all those small-business-obsessed Republicans, it should also be noted that the cost of providing healthcare to employees can be crippling. For a business with about 100 employees, you're looking at paying about $250 per employee per month for healthcare alone.

And people say it will be "inefficient" if we have the government run it! Yeah, right, because the private sector is doing such a great job right now. NOT.

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On a more personal note, today we had yet another ObGyn visit.

• My belly measures 37cms which, according to a Google Search, puts me right in the normal parameters for 36-38 weeks. Maybe baby is slowing down?
• I only put on 0.6lbs which is just as well considering our last appt was only last Thursday!
• Our next appointment won't be until Monday 3/23 because our ultrasound is next Tuesday, the 17th, there are no appointments available on Thursday, Friday is surgery day, and Wednesday is too early for the ultrasound results to be in from the day before. So, we have to wait almost a week to discuss the results of the ultrasound with our doc. Grrrrr.

We also "graduated" from our birthing class, Great Expectations, last night, which was a wake-up call of sorts. D-day seems so close and yet so far away right now...

Swollen

I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night last night with my ring finger burning like crazy. Rubbing it, I realized that it was swollen and my wedding and engagement rings were stuck. I thought perhaps it was a result of poor circulation overnight or something but I woke up this morning and said finger did not look happy AND, my rings were firmly squished between mounds of swollen flesh. WTF???

All my other fingers look fine. I'm not experiencing any other symptoms of swelling on hands, ankles, or feet (ok, feet are a bit pudgy, but they're working twice as hard lately!) so this was a bit of a surprise for me.

I did eventually get my rings off but not after much effort. I had to ice my finger to get my engagement ring off and then still couldn't budge my wedding ring. The more I tried, the more it seemed my finger got pissed off. After 20 minutes of icing, I decided to go the old-fashioned way - I ran cold water over my finger for a couple of minutes and slathered on some dishwash liquid. Sometimes the oldies are the goodies because, with some determination, my wedding ring eventually wriggled off.

Finger still didn't look happy, though, as you can see here.


I'm so sad that I had to give in and take off my rings. I've been very proud of the fact that I've managed to avoid this up until now, although other women in our birthing group had to remove their rings quite some time ago. Now I guess I'm just like everyone else which, as we all know, does not make me happy. Harumpf.

Rings are now on a chain around my neck. My poor naked finger feels single again. Sniff.

Tours, crucifixes, swabs, and maybe an early reprieve

Last night was our "Stork Tour" or, for the uninitiated of you, our tour of the Labor and Delivery unit at Mercy Folsom, where baby McDaid will make his/her first appearance into the world.

The tour was well-worth the hour or so of our time because it helped us check-off a ton of "unknowns" about where to go and what to expect on "D-Day", things like: Where to check-in during regular hours, how to get buzzed-in during off-hours, what the delivery rooms looked like, where we would go for the c-section, how long we would be in labor and delivery, and where we would go for the post-partum section of our stay.

The good news (not that there really was any bad news) is that the Labor and Delivery and Newborn units at Folsom are small and friendly. Granted it was a quiet night for them but there are only 8 rooms and they've never had a situation where they've all been filled at the same time, so you can imagine that it can't get too hectic around there.

The room where c-sections are performed is right there in the main labor and delivery unit - its one of the 8 delivery rooms - and so you don't have to leave and go to another place or surgical unit if you're going that route. It's literally just down the corridor. You also still get a standard labor and delivery room when you check-in and return to that same room when the surgery has been completed.

Basically the c-section system at Mercy is that mom goes in for prep (inc. anesthesiology) while dad stays in the delivery room. Once mom is ready to go, dad is called in for the actual delivery of the baby. The baby is then checked-out right beside you and, if doing ok, can spend some skin-to-skin time with mom before dad takes off with the baby, back to the delivery room while mom gets sewn up. (Clearly dad gets to play a bigger role in the c-section process.) After getting sewn-up (about 45 mins), mom returns to the delivery room, joining dad and baby for an uninterrupted hour of recovery, after which time visitors are allowed in. All going well, mom, dad, and baby are released to the post-partum/newborn area about 2 to 3 hours later.

Standard stay for vaginal births is 2 days (starting at the midnight after birth) and 3-4 days for c-sections.

The rooms themselves are standard, just about what you would expect - small with nasty hospital colors - but did have a couple of perks like a sofa bed for Dad and a tv with DVD player (in both delivery and newborn rooms). A couple of cool features of the newborn unit are that the nursery is literally right outside your door, no matter which room you're in, and that the nurses can be contacted by cell phone directly from your room so, if you need anything, all you have to do is call!

The one thing that freaked me out just a tiny bit was the prevalence of crucifixes on the walls of the rooms. Granted, Mercy is part of 'Catholic Healthcare West', so I shouldn't be too surprised, but it just made me think of the frickin' exorcist, seeing Christ impaled on the wall right next to the bed. What do they think, that the baby might come out posessed with evil spirits that need to be expelled or something? I don't know, it gave me the heebeegeebees. Not wanting to offend anyone here but I wonder if they have an objection to you taking it down during your stay?

So, that was the Stork Tour. Honestly, I was ready to be admitted right there and then. Let's get this show on the road, people. I'm D-O-N-E.


This morning was our 35 week ObGyn appointment. (Yes, I know our lives already revolve around the baby.) All is well with baby, whose head is down still (confirmed both from external and internal examinations) but mom did put on 4lbs in 2 weeks. Yikes. I'm not going to stick under 30lbs if I keep this up but the reality is that I'm hungry every 2 hours now and its not like I'm eating a lot, so I'm not sure what else I can do. However, I am going to go back to watching what I eat a bit more again. If I gain 4lbs a week between now and week 40, that's another 16lbs, almost 30% of my total weight-gain to date!

We also did the swab for the strep virus today - results next week - and chatted a bit more about c-sections. Sounds like, if we do decide to go the c-section route, we'll be looking at scheduling it 7-10 days ahead of my due date, which would put us between March 29th and April 1st for baby's birthday. While I'm obviously not thrilled about being sliced open, the thought of slicing 1+ weeks off my due date is so enticing I'm almost giddy with excitement. Again, no firm decisions made until our ultrasound in just under 2 weeks - 3/17. Moving forward we'll be doing one doctor's visit a week until the baby is born.

A whole new meaning to 'ejaculation'

Last night was week 5 of our 6 week birthing class and the last half of the class was devoted to post-partum stuff.

We got to learn about all kinds of exciting things such as the effusive bleeding post delivery and see such wondrous sights as the hospital sanitary pads and disposable panties that make a pack of Depends look like a bag of kinky sex toys. (Incidentally, I should point out that this was after a brutal hour of discussing pushing techniques and sensations, aptly named things like The Ring of Fire and the Wall of Pain, as well as going through the step-by-step of a c-section incision. In short, a light night!)

As usual, however, there is always one thing that makes the guys squirm in their seats. They got points for getting past the vaginal dryness bit ok, some seemingly relishing the opportunity to try out some of those new KY lubricants. They seemed to accept as inevitable the likelihood that we would turn our noses up at some of the goody bag of tricks that used to work pre-pregnancy. But then came the issue of orgasms and breast feeding and it all fell apart. Aparently, if you're still breast-feeding full-time when you return to sexual activity, it is likely that, if and when you orgasm, you will spontaneously expel some milk from your breasts at the same time. A good 75% of the men in the room are clearly either (a) not going to attempt sex until they're on the verge of desparation or (b) are not going to feel too motivated to adequately satisfy their partner if they do decide to do the deed.

Although this appears to be yet another reason to start formula at the earliest available opportunity, I was actually quite amused by the reaction. I mean, first of all, it's only milk. Secondly, let's not forget, us women live our sexual lives dealing with spontaneous expellations of creamy-white substances from our men. If you ask me, it's divine payback.

Cry baby

It occurs to me that I moan and whinge a lot on this blog about being pregnant. I guess this shouldn't come as any surprise to anyone who knows me or anyone who bothered to read the title of the blog (HELLO! "rants" and "British"!)

Recently, however, I have been yet-again reminded of the fortuitousness of my situation by another friend who had trouble conceiving. Not that she has been scolding me for being such a whinge-bag (oooo, there's a Britishism I haven't used in a while) but just the difference in our attitudes towards our pregnancy made me have a moment of self-realization. Ok, maybe it wasn't as deep as I made it sound but I did think for a second that perhaps I should try not to be such a drama Queen (although then, what would I write about?) Such dilemmas!

The reality of all my aches, pains, and inconveniences is pretty inconsequential really when you consider that I was fortunate enough to get pregnant quickly, without intervention, and that the baby seems to have been healthy throughout the pregnancy. I guess it's easy to sweat the small stuff when that's all you've been given to deal with.

So, does all this self-reflection mean that I'm going to stop ranting on this blog? Ummm... probably not; I rant therefore I am. However, I just wanted to put this quick post "out there" to say I realize that, despite all my hystrionics, I do realize how fortunate I am in so many ways.