A whole new meaning to 'ejaculation'

Last night was week 5 of our 6 week birthing class and the last half of the class was devoted to post-partum stuff.

We got to learn about all kinds of exciting things such as the effusive bleeding post delivery and see such wondrous sights as the hospital sanitary pads and disposable panties that make a pack of Depends look like a bag of kinky sex toys. (Incidentally, I should point out that this was after a brutal hour of discussing pushing techniques and sensations, aptly named things like The Ring of Fire and the Wall of Pain, as well as going through the step-by-step of a c-section incision. In short, a light night!)

As usual, however, there is always one thing that makes the guys squirm in their seats. They got points for getting past the vaginal dryness bit ok, some seemingly relishing the opportunity to try out some of those new KY lubricants. They seemed to accept as inevitable the likelihood that we would turn our noses up at some of the goody bag of tricks that used to work pre-pregnancy. But then came the issue of orgasms and breast feeding and it all fell apart. Aparently, if you're still breast-feeding full-time when you return to sexual activity, it is likely that, if and when you orgasm, you will spontaneously expel some milk from your breasts at the same time. A good 75% of the men in the room are clearly either (a) not going to attempt sex until they're on the verge of desparation or (b) are not going to feel too motivated to adequately satisfy their partner if they do decide to do the deed.

Although this appears to be yet another reason to start formula at the earliest available opportunity, I was actually quite amused by the reaction. I mean, first of all, it's only milk. Secondly, let's not forget, us women live our sexual lives dealing with spontaneous expellations of creamy-white substances from our men. If you ask me, it's divine payback.