3 weeks today

It feels like longer. I can already imagine how you can turn around, 6 months from now, and find you have little memory of what it was like before your child came into your life. Days, weeks, disappear in a haze of dirty diapers, feedings, burpings, lullabys, and sleepless nights. It's Friday and, I gotta tell ya, it feels like it was just Monday.

On the plus side, Daisy seems to continue to do well. With the help of the magic Nanny touch, we seem to have figured out how to get her to nap during the day (sometimes for 3.5 hours!) which then seems to help with happy baby at night (usually that is; there are no certainties, we realize, with a newborn.) Nanny, Hubby, and I have begun to learn more about Daisy's moods, faces, and noises and what they mean and that's definitely helping. Of course, I'm sure this means she's going to swap it all around on us next week, just to keep us on our toes, and we'll have to start all over again. Oh well, we'll relish each small moment of achievement, however short lived. Having a newborn renders you so completely powerless and at their mercy that you have to take what comfort you can in the moments where you seem to feel that you "figured it out."

Daisy also continues to impress in the strength department. Since week one she has been able to lay on her tummy and lift her head to move it from side to side (crazy for a newborn) and she pushes her boundaries every day, head-butting us when we're burping us, and using her legs to kick me and dislodge her latch while breastfeeding. (Helpful AND fun, especially at 3am.)

She's also a little Houdini when it comes to escaping even the best burrito attempts. After she continually escaped from the basic velcro Snugglers/Swaddlers from BabiesRUs (waking herself with the crackling of the velcro coming apart), I did some research online and found the Miracle Blanket - basically an advanced version of the same thing with extra arm restraints (haha - a baby straight-jacket if you will!) So far so good with the Miracle Blanket - definitely chills her out - but it's always a crap shoot as to whether you're putting her in it too early, risking waking her up and starting the lulling process all over again. Either way, 2-2.5 hours later, she's managed to get her legs out and has wriggled her arms out of the restraints and up through the wrap. This kid has a place in the circus, I'm tellin' ya!

This past week I've also got out and about more, even if it's only around the neighborhood with the stroller. I also went out alone w/Daisy for lunch after getting a hankering for a Nut Burger from "Sunrise Drive In" in Fair Oaks - one of my favorite spots for lunch in the summer. Daisy let her mummy have her moment too, sleeping through screaming kids and a rooster cock-a-doodle-dooing in her earhole (old Fair Oaks village is famously inhabited by a group of roosters, hens, and chickens.) I was very thankful for that; gave her mum some confidence in more outings.

Speaking of Mums, we only have one more week with my Mum in town, which is actually quite scary. She has saved my sanity these last few weeks and Daisy instantly turns into happy, sleepy baby when she's in her Nanny's arms, so it's going to be extremely tough to watch her go. But go she must, to quit her job, sell the cars, wrap things back up in the U.K.; she'll be back at the end of July, so about 3 months. Man, it's going to be a loooong 3 months. Hubby and I are starting to look for daycare now, although we don't relish the task, financially or otherwise.

Here are some pics from little munchkin's week 3...


The magic Nanny touch


Long, lanky legs. Mummy is thankful she may have avoided her short, stumpy ones. Fingers crossed.


Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth at 3pm. Could use more of this at 3am!

We gained weight!

10ozs to be precise! Woot woot! Our goal was only 6ozs (1oz per day since the last pediatric appointment) so we're doing GREAT. Daisy's weight is now 8lbs 9ozs, which puts her in the 50th percentile. She's 20.25" long/45th percentile, and her head circumference is 35.5cms/30th percentile.

The TMJ is still there - not getting any worse, not getting any better. Again, only action is to keep an eye on it right now. The only other thing we could do would be to send her for an MRI to see if there is any overall displacement, but that would involve general anesthesia (ummm... not) and, even if it showed a problem, there's nothing they could do until she is older and has teeth (so they could put on braces.) Hence, no pay-off, no point.

As is pretty typical for a daughter of mine, TMJ is so rarely found in infants (this is the first time our pediatrician has seen it in one of her babies and she's been practicing for 20 years), there really isn't any normal procedure for it's treatment (there's even some debate, it seems, about whether it occurs at all!) although looking online suggests some alternative therapies using chiropractors trained in pediatric alignment. I guess before we even think about going that route, we'll see if time makes it better or worse. Right now, she doesn't seem to be in pain, which is one consolation.

As for me, I'm doing pretty good. I took my first car ride yesterday, out with Mum to get some frozen yogurt. Daisy was suitably unimpressed, throwing a mini tantrum in the yogurt shop. We also took a walk around the neighborhood yesterday morning in our fancy stroller and I'm hoping to do the same today so that I can start getting some exercise, at least. The weather is HOT, though, so we'll see.

2 weeks

Our little Daisy is 2 weeks old today and neither Hubby or I can figure out if it seems longer or shorter than that; I guess it depends on what yardstick you're using to measure the last 14 days!

Lazy Daisy, as she had become known in her first week, obviously didn't like her nickname because she firmly bucked it in week 2 of her life. Thank goodness "crazy" also rhymes. This past week Hubby and I got our first real taste of sleep deprivation. What we've discovered is that it's not about how long she sleeps for in one stretch necessarily, it's about the ratio of sleep-to-awake time. For instance, on Wednesday night she was sleeping for 60-90 minute stretches and took 2.5-3 fussy hours to settle down inbetween - a pattern which resulted in a firm mummy meltdown at about 3am. Last night, however, and on Monday night, she managed to reverse that trend and sleep for 2-3 hours with a 45-90 minute awake period inbetween. With Hubby and I switching off shifts, that gives us each 4-6 hour stretches of sleep, which is very do-able.

If I can get one 4 hour stretch at night, I'm fine. If I can't, yesterday happens. Thankfully there is Nanny to jump in and relieve me right now (God knows what I'll do when she's gone.) Yesterday morning, after barely any sleep and a frustrating night of fussiness, gas, hiccups, a ghetto bird, and a barking dog, my boobs engorged to the point of pain, and a need to pee (which I have not yet figured out how to do with baby in-arms), I admitted defeat and called my Mum. Although I bit her head off when she arrived 45 minutes later instead of the 30 she originally promised (dang that was a long 15 mins!) she jumped right in to calm Daisy and gave me the mental and physical break I needed to pull myself together (and to pump - oh thank God to pump!)

Again I say, I have no idea how women do this without an involved husband and a support system around them. I guess when you don't have any alternative you just force yourself to go on but all I can say is that I have NO PROBLEM calling in reinforcements.; I'm no martyr. (Note: I'm not saying those who have no other choice are martyrs just that I'm not out to prove anything to anyone by refusing available help!)

So, yes, I guess you can say that the honeymoon period has definitely ended and the reality of parenting has presented itself to us. Not that I am surprised. I never said I was looking forward to this bit or that I would be any good at it; I know myself too well. I said I wouldn't like being pregnant, I was right. I said I wouldn't like the first 6-8 weeks of parenting, I think I will probably be right about that too.

But, despite all of this, what I can say is that our marriage is stronger than ever, as is my love for my fantastic Hubby. We're such a great team and the way we pull together, still laughing and caring about one another even in the most frustrating circumstances, just fills me with overwhelming amounts of love and gratitude for having found and married him. I can see how lesser unions could be tested in the same circumstances; I'm acutely aware of how lucky I am that this whole experience has only brought us closer together.

I'm also finding joy in the fact that I'm all-but recovered from the c-section and able to enjoy being not pregnant me again for the first time in more than 10 months. I can sleep on my back or my side (what choices!), I can get around without clutching at my stomach as if it was about to fall out, I can breathe without too much effort, and there's nothing inside of me playing karate with the walls of my stomach. I already don't have any problem getting around and barely notice that the incision is there any more. It does sting once in a while but I think that's more to do with the fact that the steri-strips that cover it are catching as it heals and shrinks. I'm off the pain meds (anti-inflams as well as narcotics) and am generally left thinking that this whole c-section thing was no problem at all. Overall, having my stomach sliced open was way less of an issue that having my hip socket shaved. Funny but the hip surgery of just last year has provided a great reality-check for this whole experience.

As for Daisy herself, she's doing pretty well. At her second pediatrician appointment this week we did discover a few things: (1) She isn't gaining weight fast enough, (2) She has TMJ and (3) She is slightly tongue-tied. On #1, I think the problem was that she was trying to go through a growth spurt in this last week and my milk couldn't keep up. No sooner had the doc recommended topping her up with formula and my boobs began to catch up - we've only added the formula once since then. On #2, we just need to keep an eye on it. Her jaw kind of clunks when she's breastfeeding in a certain position (with pressure on the side of her jaw while she is moving it up and down) or when we burp her on our shoulder and a similar side-pressure occurs. The doc seems to think that this may go away on its own as her joints and ligaments firm up. Good news is that there is no space in the joint or overall displacement from side to side and, at least right now, it doesn't seem to be hurting her. On #3, it's a very slight tongue-tie. It's not affecting her ability to latch during breastfeeding (how it's usually diagnosed) and she has good movement in her tongue, so it shouldn't impair her ability to speak later in life. However, again, something to keep an eye on. The treatment, should it be needed, is a snip of the frenulum under her tongue - a fairly routine procedure.

Initially it was hard to hear that anything was wrong with her - a heart-stopping panic ensued when I heard the original diagnosis - but it seems that all issues may resolve themselves without intervention and, even if they don't, there's nothing we can do right now but keep an eye on them anyway. So, nothing to do but chill-out and hope for the best. The tongue-tie worries me the most because I don't want her speech to be delayed or impaired; hopefully the doc will be pro-active if we sense that is happening rather than employing a "wait and see" approach that may leave her behind in the development stakes. Rest assured, I will be an annoying mummy to ensure that doesn't happen. If she's gaining weight well with just breastfeeding after this week, I think I'll feel a bit better. (One of the issues with tongue-tie is failute to gain weight appropriately despite the baby breastfeeding very frequently.)

And yes, I am still breastfeeding. Surprising the heck of out me too but I actually quite like it. It's one of the few things I can do that is guaranteed to satiate my crazy little munchkin. When it seemed like my milk supply couldn't keep up, I actually found myself in the emotional predicament I promised myself I would never get myself in - a feeling of failure to give her what she needed and, when she had trouble latching after Hubby gave her a bottle of formula one night, an unreasonable sense of her rejecting me. Who woulda thunk it? Fortunately my rational brain is still able to give my emotional/hormonal brain a good talking to; I shed a few tears of self-pity and then give myself a metaphorical slap across the face. It's good to know that the "old me" is still in here! Hehe.

At the end of all of this, sleep-deprivation and worries aside, we are still besotted with out little Daisy. Week 2 of parenthood has definitely defined itself as being full of opposing emotions and I'm sure this is only the beginning of the journey.

Here are some pics from this week...

The honeymoon period is ending...

First afternoon home. Cuddles with Daddy.

At exactly 1:55pm today, little Daisy will be one week old. I CAN NOT BELIEVE how fast this week has gone! Yet, at the same time, it has felt as though time stood still. The first week of motherhood has definitely seemed like being in a time-warp.

Crazily, it was hard for Hubby and I to leave the hospital. We were just getting the hang of things, cocooned in our warm, dark little room with the help of nurses, lactation consultants, and the nursery at night, and then (all too soon, it seemed) we were out in the bright, white light of a Monday afternoon, heading home with our daughter for the first time with tears in our eyes. The change was evident right away in Hubby's driving style, pulling over when a "mad mom in a mini-van" tailgated us down a Folsom side street. We would have been laughing at ourselves if we hadn't already been crying at the ludicrousness of it all.

Yes, there has been a lot of crying (99% tears of joy or just being overwhelmed with emotions, I might add) in the last 7 days - and from both of us. Hubby is a bit confused about how he managed to "contract" baby blues although it has become quite entertaining, laughing through our tears whenever one of us starts to sob for no good reason.

Now, the next transition is that Hubby is easing himself back into work today. For both of us it is just too soon, but needs must. There is just NO WAY I could have got through the last week of recovery and motherhood without him. We've mad a GREAT team and enjoyed every minute of our time together, figuring out parenthood for the first time. It hasn't always been pleasant (and believe me, after a c-section, there are some things you just never thought you'd have to "share" with your husband) but, at every step of the way, it has been a reaffirmation of our love and friendship, which has now exponentially grown to encompass our love for Daisy. He has sworn that he won't cry when he leaves us today but I can't promise the same thing, so I think overall it's probably just a losing battle. Although we both know he's coming back (and as soon as he can, if he has anything to do with it), irrationally it feels like he's going to be gone forever. I think it has more to do with the recognition that our blissfull little honeymoon period is coming to an end; we're mourning for that as much as him being physically gone for a few hours a day.

As for me, I'm recovering pretty well. Between my two surgeries int he past 13 months, I've discovered that things are rarely as dire as you anticipate them to be before-hand. I'm already getting around pretty normally, although I'm slow and have my limits (which I AM respecting.) We're already back upstairs, sleeping in our bedroom, and I'm not having any problems negotiating the stairs or the majority of basic tasks around the house. Obviously, lifting anything but Daisy and bending down to pick stuff up off the floor is still a problem, so I'm not doing those things (which is where Hubby has come in VERY handy.) My incision is still pretty sore and starting to feel tight as it heals. Hubby has assured me that everything looks normal down there and I'm taking his word for it - just like for my hip surgery, I refuse to look at it. If I can't see it, I can't visualize it, if I can't visualize it, I can almost ignore it and not freak out.

Breastfeeding has been going relatively well also. As I said in my previous post, I never thought I would get past 2 days, let alone a whole week, although I definitely see the potential to get frustrated with it at some point in the near future. But, we'll see... I think it's safe to say that I've remained open beyond most people's expectations in this department and I intend to remain so. Right now the biggest challenge is keeping up with my little munchkin's needs and trying to keep her awake enough to eat enough at each sitting. We're working on it. I am also pumping - the world's most surreal experience I might add. It's important to me that Hubby also get that special bonding time with Daisy and, hopefully if I can produce enough, Mum and Dad can also.

Daisy herself is doing well, although her clock seems to be backwards right now. She's super sleepy all day (we literally can't wake her up sufficiently!) and we barely have a murmur out of her and then, as soon as it gets to 9pm+, she becomes the complete opposite - impossible to stay asleep, fussy, yelling, inconsolable, and wriggly. Hubby and I have been splitting the night shift and seem, so far at least, to be able to minimize the impact on one another's overall sleep quota but I'd be lying if I said it was easy. More than anything it's frustrating because we can't figure out WHY it is that she's so chill during the day and yet the opposite at night. Of course, there's probably a multitude of reasons and some of them are not even "solveable", so we're not stressing out about it. She's only a week old, for heaven's sake, and we're all new at this. We're cutting each other some slack - me, Hubby, and Daisy. I'm aware that some of it might be something I'm eating that is getting through to my breast milk, so I am going to start a food diary today to see if there are any patterns. However, the time deliniation of her behavior (night/day) is so consistent and specific that I'm inclined to believe that this has little to do with the overall problem. I guess we'll play the elimination game and see what comes out of it.

What else has happened this week? Well, Daisy had her first pediatric appointment and passed with flying colors. Hubby, however, was told to "chill out" by the doctor, haha! Hubby's Mom (aka: Grammie) came down on Wednesday (or was it Tuesday? Jeez! Who knows anymore?) and hung out with us for the afternoon which was really special (see pic below.) Meanwhile Mum and Dad being down the street has been really nice. They have been cooking for us, running errands, and popping over, if only briefly, at least once a day. It's comforting to know they are there.

Here are some other random pics from our first week of parenthood... enjoy!

On our way to our first Pediatrician appointment


Cuddles with Grammie


Morning cuddles with Daddy


Morning cuddles with a bleary-eyed Mummy


All dressed-up and ready to head home from the hospital

Daisy Margaret McDaid: The story so far

Wow... well, where to start? My daughter is now 4 days old and it's been a whirlwind 4 days full mostly with joy and love.

There are two distinct moments in the last 4 days that have made the reality hit home that I am now a mother.

The first was on the morning after she was born in our quiet hospital room before the rest of the world had barely begun to stir. Bedridden and barely able to sit up straight on my own, Hubby cocooned me with pillows all around and handed her to me, all burritoed up in a hospital blanket. I cradled her in my arms and looked down into her big blue eyes which looked up and locked with mine. She then made a small "eep" sound that was just sooo cute. I could barely believe she was mine but, unlike the unreality of the day before, it began to sink in that I was this beautiful creature's mother.

The second moment was on Sunday night. The previous two nights, when Daisy wasn't settling down by the early hours, Hubby wheeled her off to the nursery to give us both the opportunity to sleep. On neither night did I mind. The first night I was just too tired and drugged up to care and the second night I'd had a really rough day pain-wise and couldn't keep my eyes open to help take some of the load off of Hubby. But on Sunday night, when Hubby went to do the same thing, it literally felt as though there was a string attached between her heart and mine and, as Hubby wheeled her out of the room, tears sprang to my eyes. I was physically unable to get out of bed and follow and too tired to really protest, but I cried myself to sleep. I wasn't worried about someone else looking after her, I just wanted her in our room, near me. I had this horrible sense that I would be missing something important and that the cuddles the nurses would be having with her were somehow directly stolen from me.

As someone who is not typically emotional, I did of course recognize that my post-partum hormones were kicking in and therefore gave myself a rational talking to. But it was the first of many moments since then where I have literally felt the strongest emotional tugs of my life toward anyone or anything. It happened again as we exited the hospital on Monday afternoon and then last night when I just couldn't put her down because she smelled so good and her little tummy felt so good up against me.

So, to say I (and Hubby) are besotted with our little Daisy is a complete understatement.

From the moment she was pulled out of me at 1:55pm on Friday, eyes wide open, kicking and screaming, she has steadily pulled us further and further under her spell with her big blue eyes and little cooing sounds. Even despite the pain of the c-section (and my-oh-my has there been pain,) she has managed to make every day since more wonderful than the next. We are having an absolute blast with her, sleep deprivation and all.

And who can believe Baby McDaid is a GIRL!? All those months of being convinced that she was an Elliott and the doctor announces "It's a girl!" Hubby and I literally stared into one another's tearful eyes with incredulity, saying "It's a girl! It's a GIRL?!" It barely registered for a few seconds that I had a daughter. Then they held her up over the curtain, arms spread wide open and mouth just as wide, mid-scream and she looked HUGE. I remember saying "She's SO BIG!" She just didn't look newborn at all, she was so plump and lively.

So, surprises from the last few days:

• It's fun! Hubby and I have been really enjoying our time together and with her as a new family. For the most part, the tough times have elicited laughter in recognition of our sudden new role as parents. We frequently stop, stare at each other and say how much we love each other and her before bursting into tears - yes, even Hubby seems to have hormone rushes!!
• The day can literally disappear staring into her eyes. Between feeding, cuddling, eating, burping, changing diapers, and receiving visitors, there's barely a moment to spare. Pah on getting bored, I say.
• I don't mind breastfeeding - at least so far. I've been more patient that I could ever have imagined with the, sometimes frustrating, process of getting a "good latch". I even didn't mind two consultations with the hospital lactation consultants who proceeded to manhandle my breasts with a vigor they (the boobs) have never experienced before. Yes - surprise indeed - I didn't feel a need to smack them in the teeth. I even appreciated their help. Despite supplementing with formula in the first couple of days at every feeding, I perservered without frustration or tears and this morning my milk finally came in. (Whole other story for a whole other post there. In short, can I say "OH MY GOD!")
• Recovery from the c-section has been easier and harder than I anticipated. Harder because there really has been lots of pain and discomfort. Easier because it got better and I'm more mobile faster than I thought I would be. Every day I experience significant progress which makes each day easier in turn.

One of the many joys of motherhood has been watching Hubby with his daughter. It's just too cute to see him staring at her with adoration. Willingly changing diapers, genuinely excited about cute outfit changes, and prone to kissing us both when we're cuddled up together, having Daisy has only made me love him even more. All this without even mentioning how fantastic he has been in looking after me after the c-section. I'm so lucky and so enjoying our time together right now; I wish it could last longer than the short week he has with us.

Well, it's taken me all day to write this post (between Daisy activities) and, shock horror, it's time for feeding 6 of the day. Daisy is giving poor Hubby a hard time and my boobs are on fire, so I'll write more tomorrow from the wonderful world of parenthood.

Who knew I would be so into this? ;o)

T -20 and counting

As I write this, I am 20 hours away from becoming a mother. God, that sounds scary.

I finished work on Tuesday and my parents came in that night. They're now officially U.S. residents. (I can't believe it - after 15 years!!!) We spent yesterday bopping (or in my case waddling) around and getting them set-up with necessities such as cell phones and food.

Yesterday evening we visited my sister-in-law and her new son, Ezra, who is about to be just one week old tomorrow. Just like when I visited him in the hospital, it was surreal to hold him and realize that I have a baby around this size in my belly and, this time, that I would be holding him/her within just the next 48 hours. Saying goodbye to them and my mother-in-law really made everything hit home since our parting greeting was "See you on Friday at the hospital!" Um... YIKES!

However, we didn't have much time to dwell on our building sense of panic. We got home and our youngest dog, Maggie, was yelping and squealing inconsolably, as if an elephant was permanently parked on her foot. It wasn't her foot that was in "pain" but it was that same sound she makes when you accidentally step on her; although not just one or two quick whelps, continuous, brain-piercing whelping. Her butt was close to the ground as she walked and she was shaking like a leaf. Hubby did his duty and looked up her butt just in case anything might be stuck (yes, we're old-pros at the constipated dog dance) but couldn't see anything. After about 5 minutes of trying to calm her down without success, we called the emergency pet clinic, put her in the car, and sped down there.

She seemed to calm down in the car and, when we got out at the clinic, she immediately went #1 on the grass. We then scuttled her inside and right away she crouched over and dropped quite possibly the most incredibly foul smelling #2 ever. As we were dying with embarrassment and requesting items to assist us with the clean-up, she managed to get a couple of feet away from us to drop 3 more wet nuggets elsewhere in the waiting room. Delightful. We were charged $4.99 on our bill for the cleanup. Hilarious! Had we of known her poop was so valuable, we would have put all the crap in our side yard on Craigslist!

We still had her checked-out just in case but 90 minutes and $170 later, it turns out that it was probably just backed-up gas pains and some constipation after all. We've had the same with our older dog, Frankie, but he never made quite such a song and dance about it. At most he gets clingy, fidgety, whimpers every once in a while, and assaults our nostrils on a periodic basis. Meanwhile, our Magster made it sound as though someone was repeatedly poking her up the butt with a hot rod. Girls!!!! Needless to say, it was one more level of stress and worry that we didn't need right now. It also significantly impacted our sleep since we didn't get back until waaaay after our usual bedtime and, given that Hubby had today off and we had a ton of stuff to get done, there was no rest for us wicked folk today either.

Oh well, I'll be getting more than enough down-time in the next week or two and I'm sure no amount of "storing" energy is going to make a big diff in that department.

In other news, we had our last ObGyn appointment yesterday, which also doubled as our pre-surgical check-up. Our doc went through the procedure for tomorrow with us from start to finish, although having heard it all first-hand from my sister-in-law just a few days ago, most of it was familiar and fresh in our memory already. (GULP.) No significant news to report on the medical front - all vital signs are vital and healthy for mum and baby.

We also managed to talk to our anesthesiologist on the phone today which was a huge relief because our surgery paperwork said that I couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight tonight - and my c-section is scheduled for 1pm! 13 hours without food or water just is not going to happen right now - I can barely make it 3 or 4 without nausea and lightheadedness. Fortunately, with my stellar health and history of no adverse reactions to most anesthesia so far, the doc gave me some MAJOR leeway on the norm. I'm going to be able to get up at 5am and have a light breakfast and then sip clear liquids (which includes apple juice - one of my pregnancy cravings) from 5am to 9am. So my "actual" fasting will only be a couple of hours before we head into the hospital and they shove that IV line into my hand.

(Pauses to hyperventilate)

The doctor also talked with me more about the actual epidural process and its side-effects, which include:

• 99% of women experience itching.
• 1 in 3 get nauseous and/or vomit.
• 1 in 100 get a severe headache.
• Many women feel like they can't breathe or can't take a deep breath because the intercostal muscles that are used for these actions are completely numb. (Of course, you can actually breathe - breathing while at rest is controlled by your diaphram and they won't be numbing me anywhere near that high up.)
• There is also a chance that, when inserting the (gulp) needle into my back (deep breath,) I will experience a sensation down my leg much like hitting the funny bone on your arm. This means they've hit a nerve (ya think!?) and they need to pull out and reposition the point of insertion. Sounds delightful.

Honestly, I'm trying not to think about the IV needle, or the blood-draw needles, or the epidural needle. I'm focusing on NOT BEING PREGNANT ANY MORE. Although challenges, pain and discomfort are definitely on their way, they won't be THESE SAME challenges, pain and discomfort and what there will be will be signs of recovery (I hope!) Pain with gain, if you will.

I'm also really lucky that I have the world's best husband who is going to be taking some time off in the coming week and will look after me and our baby like we are his most precious assets. (He did an amazing job with me after my hip surgery.) Add to that my parents who would do anything for me/us anytime, anywhere and without question and I honestly have very little to moan about.

So, as I embark upon this next chapter in my life, I know I'm not sailing out into the unknown alone. I'm determined to take each day as it comes - the good and the bad - and to appreciate each special moment before it passes into memory. Of course I'm scared and a little anxious but I'm also excited and eager to face the challenges ahead.

See you on the other side, folks...