After reading the comments to my last post, I started to respond in the comments section myself but then realized that my comment was becoming a post in itself. So, I decided to go-with-the-flow.
(Obviously, if you haven't read the last post and comments from friends, this is going to make little sense to you. Sorry! What can I say? Keep up!)
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Elena - You know, I would have put myself in the first category FOR SURE before she was born. And, the truth is, it's not impossible to pick-up where I left off and fold Daisy into that. BUT, I think Linh hit it on the head - they're only a baby for so long and I truly enjoy the majority of time I spend with her - she's fascinating!
Of course, I could have her spend more time with her grandparents, but they already help out enough (no complaint or problem with that, btw), or add hours to my nanny's day, or put her in childcare at the gym while I work out, or have people babysit more often, but the reality is that I don't want my kid parented by someone else. Get used to being with different people and different environments, sure, but I (and Hubby) want to be the major influencers in her life. I already work 8 hours a day, meaning I only get a couple of hours in the morning and night with her and then weekends as it is.
So, I figure, as she gets older and more independent, I'll add things back in - maybe from the old days, maybe new things altogether, maybe even tagging her along. In the meantime... pah, I'm not feeling short-changed and I recognize I've made a CHOICE in most of these things.
On the other hand, I have to say, for as much that has changed, many things have stayed the same.
I work, I Facebook, I blog, I watch my favorite tv-shows, I shop on weekends, I go out to eat, Hubby and I have date-nights... my life wasn't that interesting and dynamic before missy was born.
I actually probably go out now MORE than I did before, especially with my new mommy friends. Last Friday, for instance, we got together for MNO (Mother's Night Out) and had margaritas and bad-for-us Mexican food while next Friday night I'm off to a fashion party at one of their homes. It's almost like having Daisy has made me make even more of an effort to get out and have fun.
As we all know, I also haven't stopped traveling and don't intend to.
Plus, I have a 3rd factor to consider right now - my hip. After I put Daisy down at 8:30pm, instead of doing laundry or reading, I lay on the floor in front of my favorite TV shows and stretch, usually for almost an hour. I could read, I could download songs onto my iPod but (as I know Elena knows) the need to be pain-free trumps all other things.
So, in short, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've consciously made choices about where to spend my time differently these days, rather than being unwillingly swept-up in the wave of motherhood. I wouldn't say Daisy controls my life (if something needs to get done, it needs to get done and we figure it out) but I would say that I've chosen to let go of some things for now.
5 comments:
I totally understand the choice you're making. Especially when they're so little, they really need all our attention. From this post it sounds like you actually have more going on in your life than most people, with or without kids. I guess from the perspective of someone who follows your updates and blog posts, it's hard to see that b/c your personal blog is on hiatus and most of what you write about is Daisy. I love her to bits, but you're my friend and I kinda want to know what's going on with you in addition to Daisy, and it sounds like a lot!
I think from a selfish point of view, I would have liked your blog to incorporate all the goodies about Daisy but also about your life, and your rants, and all the stuff that's going on, rather than just a blog about Daisy in which there's little room for you. As you say, though, sometimes there's only time for living life, and not for writing about it.
The other thing is that everyone I know is having babies, and that's all they talk about, for the most part. So while it's exciting and I understand it b/c I'd be doing the same thing, it's a little surreal to get 20 people updating about the progress of the baby in their tummy all at the same time, using the same words from the same book. At least once the babies are born they quickly develop personalities and the updates become personal again.
But when all is said and done, for anyone who's even a half way decent parent, children are the most important thing in life. And like you said, they're only little for a short time, and the miraculous transformation they undergo is so fast that if you blink, you miss it.
In short, I totally understand that you are making choices about how to spend your time, I just wish I knew more about what you're up to. Like I said, a selfish wish, which you need not indulge in any way. But know that I get where you're coming from.
e - thank you. The fact that you want to hear about me is actually quite a revelation over all and, of course, very flattering.
Pretty much all my friends these days have kids and I get the impression (although I'm willing to be told I'm wrong here) that they find updates about Daisy far more interesting than my latest rants about the health care bill, or whether my hip is STILL hurting. It never occurred to me that they may actually be tired of reading about the same damn milestones for all of their friends' kids on different blogs.
On the other hand, I do sort of use Facebook these days as my Random Rants replacement. Although I post status updates about missy, I also indulge in some personal stuff and that has sort of taken the place of my longer ramblings on the other blog.
BUT, I'm interested to hear if others would like to hear more about me again on Random Rants.
p.s. I also have to recognize that the other things that has changed in my life is that my parents are out here. Life is different for me in so many good ways now... it's taking some time to adjust and figure out what fits back in and what doesn't.
Seems like you're taking control of your like, rather than letting it take control of you... I thinks that's something Mrs. Koda still struggles with.
I enjoy the Daisy updates, but the Random Rants have been missed - at least by me! (And I voted as such :-) )
Well...I read and replied to the last without reading this one (I took the right steps...read older posts first) and realize that TV has already taken a stab at what I chimed in at what E replied already.(Wow...that's a long sentence). So...sorry~~
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